Manifesto

I have a dream, a dream that lives for myself, and with some providence, with whoever reads this.

Some of you would know I have been part of a community of fellow believers. We are a special group. Our group was founded on the idea that we would be friends, whose faith carries us forward, and with this faith, we share the love we have to others. We work together, united by a common cause and love. All of us share in this work, and all do our very best, with much enthusiasm, love, and passion.

We do our work seriously, but at the same time, we do not lose sight of one another. We stick together not just because we are friends, or happen to be in the same place, but because we want to move in the same direction. We stand by each other not just because we're sometimes the only ones who are there, but because we're the only ones who'll give a damn.

That was then.

I am writing this because I am afraid this dream is dying. It is disappearing too fast, and the future will only glimpse this dream in memories passed down by people like myself, who have also glimpsed at it from a certain distance, never truly holding it to our hearts. I'm writing because I want somebody to help me keep this dream alive.

I'm talking about the dream I saw made real in the Agape DWTL community. I am talking about the fellowship we shared together, over the course of several years (4 of which I have been very active) and I feel that we're weaker because of recent events. I am talking about the ideal vision of a community that is united by a certain, indescribable love, a love that is characterized by what we have come to derive from our name "Agape": selfless, unadulterated sacrifice, no matter who or what is before us.

I saw this community in action years ago, on my first staffing batch. I invited two dear and near friends to join our community. They were welcomed in grand fashion, and loved in a very true and personal way, never mind that nobody knew who they were. I saw how everyone helped one another. I saw how we worked hard, and took great pride in our work, and how we found the grace in that same work. I saw how we all were bound together to serve. I ground my bones hard in three days unlike any sort before, but I emerged stronger, and I felt I could love in a purer, truer way than before. In my first staffing batch, in working hard, I gained a tremendous love. I knew my place was here.

In the years that followed, I have done my utmost to pass this love - for the community, for one another, for our participants, for Jess - to others as well. I did my best at my tasks, while making strong friendships and forging a stronger relationship with the Lord I worked for. It wasn't always easy, and at times it was hell of a struggle, but it was a sanctified way of life. In me, I learned different, deeper sorts of loving, as unique to me as I am to the over 6 billion people on Earth.

Through all this, I believe I learned a lot. I learned the value of time, and how other people's time is just as special as mine. I learned how the seemingly strongest, most perfect-looking people keep deep-seated insecurities and fears, and how they are no less priceless to God than the greatest of us. I learned how to rally people to get things done. I learned to pay attention to detail and plans, and how to work around when things don't go as expected. I learned to accept people who were awful to me, and to further strengthen bonds between those who were good to me. I learned the meaning of the word 'professionalism,' and how it is valuable everywhere, even if we're not paid for what we do. I learned how to clean bathrooms. I learned how to scrape candle wax off floors. I learned how to survive barefoot for a weekend without slippers, or how to be usher to strangers for a Mass.

Mostly, I learned how love and sacrifice are hand-in-hand. And that by giving much of myself, I gained a whole wonderful world of love for all I've done.

Why am I writing this? It's because I am starting to worry that the way we are working now is far removed from that dream. Already, I am beginning to see a dichotomy living in the community, like a worm growing inside an apple.

I'm thinking about the petty factionalism that is brewing among us, how we build walls around our own little circles instead of building bridges to expand those circles to others.

I'm thinking about the way people have slowly begun to shun our work, and instead focused on the lighter sides of our time such as all the idle partying and socializing.

I'm thinking about the way we isolate, belittle, ignore and even hurt others, while calling on the Lord as our friend.

I'm thinking of the many disaffected members of our community who have given much of their time, energy, at times money for our cause, but we in general shun, or spread rumors about.

I'm thinking about that anecdote of the guy who we kindly asked help from, but whom we were rebuffed sharply for this request.

I'm thinking of the girl whose only wish was to get by quietly after her break-up, but cannot because everyone is talking, listening, judging.

There was a dream that was once Agape. THIS IS NOT IT.

It's not it when we have all the time to go drinking, but don't have the time to go to a bank to sort the money. It's not it when we lack a transparency in monitoring those funds. It's not it when we profess a value of acceptance, of a surrender, of a divinely inspired generosity of heart, when in our words and deeds and practices, we shun people whose personalities clash with ours, when we surround ourselves with those we feel strong around, when we push out of our circles of friends others who are not like us. It's not it when we're too wrought up in trying to win over other peoples' approval by trying to be funny, personable, or clever, but fail at being hardworking, committed, and responsible.

When did having more friends mean more than having done more work? When did we stop accepting other peoples' flaws, and start pulling near ourselves those select few we care about? Why do we raise our glasses for people who made our day, when there are so many other members of our community who also matter, and without whom our work will fall apart in bits and pieces? Why do we mouth off on how "the Lord is all we need to survive" and how "we cannot compel anyone to do their part" when, in a very real degree, such ideas give other people license to slack off? Why don't we understand that your mere presence among us when it is time to work demands that you do your utmost best, and not only when you find it convenient?

This cannot continue. This MUST NOT continue.

And I feel that things must change NOW.