current music: Come on Home - Everything but the Girl





Hey Nelli,

How are you? Thanks for the planner, by the way. I can't wait to start writing out my year's future plans. It's the GotHeart planner like I asked. I got what I wanted for my birthday, and it came from you, of all people. Thank you.

I turned 26. Christmas and my birthday came, saw, and came again, bringing much joy and laughter and good times shared by all.

My life is good: I am surrounded by good friends, a loving family who believe in me, and am doing a job that pays me well for what I do. I have plans laid out for my future. I am doing the steps to make them real, and while they demand much of my future and will take a lot out of me, I can't wait for them to happen. And if they fall through, I feel confident I can make something nice happen still.

But to be honest, Nelli? I'm still bummed, because I don't have what I want, more than anything in the world.

I want YOU, you who was the answer to the prayers I begged God to grant almost a whole year ago. You were (and still are) my life's shining star, and I'm glad we're friends. I'm glad you met your new angel, never mind that he can give you so much less than what I could (because he makes you smile, after all). It's all good we're making the most of the time we have left before I disappear for a year, and at least you're in good hands until then.

But to be honest?

I want you. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine.

And I want, beg, hope, pray, wish for you to wait for the day I return. And maybe one day we could finish this story that we never quite started.

Because as much as it isn't in my character to say it, I feel it quite keenly: the altruistic, "For you, Lord" sacrifices I make mean nothing if nobody's there to make me happy like you have all this time.

I love you. And I want nothing more than for you to wait for me, and upon my return, hold me and tell me you love me, just as I whisper how I've set you apart, and how I can't wait to build this perfect life you confide in me so much about together.

It's you, Nelli, dearest of all I know. It's you. All that I want is you.

Remain in my love. Wait for me.