current music: Untitled (How Does It Feel) - D'Angelo

Yes, it's high time I answer The Great "If You Call Me..." Survey!


If you call me "Raph":
you're my friend, a favorite teacher (and there are lots of you), part of my family and/or household, or I've just introduced myelf and have shaken your hand. You're about 78% of everybody I know, and you're special to me.

If you call me "Raphael":
you most likely read my name of a class list or attendance check list, or I've only seen you once and introduced myself as "Raphael".

If you call me "Ralph":
You can't quite pronounce "Raph" properly. Fine, it's okay.

If you STILL call me "Ralph":
I hate you. Very much so.

If you call me "Ralph" every now and then:
you must be trying to introduce me to a friend of yours and bungled it. That, or you're part of my Philo class (particularly, KC!).

If you call me "Raph, my friend" (or sometimes "Ralph, my friend"):
you're Dr. Leovino Garica.

If at the sight of me you go "Hey, Raph!" with a slight twang:
you're Mel! And you're cool.

If at the sight of me you go "Hey, Raph!" with a twang and you raise your hand in a strange handshake-like sign:
you're my best friend James, and you're the last one who remembers that handshake.

If at the sight of me you go "Raaaaaph!" and give me a hug:
you're Tine!

If you called me "Raffy" at one time or another:
you're one of Mom or Dad's friends. If not, I didn't like you very much. Odds are, I still don't.

If you called me "Papa Raph":
you're either Gillie from Days or Abu from Kaingin.

If you call me "Jose Raphael Federico Gan Doval Santos":
you're my birth certificate. Odds are, you're also my driver's licence, passport, school papers and insurance papers. You don't know me all that well.

There's also an outside shot you're Julian, making kulit. But Julian never gets my full name right.

If you call me "Mr. Doval-Santos" with a weak, somewhat faint voice:
you're Sir. D.M. Reyes or Sir Jonathan Chua, and I love your classes.


If you go "Hoy, Mister Doval-Santos" with an almost nasal quality to it:
you're Monix, and undoubtedly so.

If you go "Uy, Raph":
makali yung odds na ikaw si Fritz o si Bojit o si Mark, or any of my very trusted friends whom I've not talked to in a while.

If you called me "Ginoong Doval-Santos":
you must've been a Filipino teacher! Most likely you were Sir JoGon or Sir Morny de Guzman.

If you call me "Doval":
you must have met me back in grade school or high school. either a teacher or a classmate or batchmate. It's nice to see you again after all this time, too.

If you STILL INSIST on calling me "Doval" after some weeks have passed:
you've just GOT to be from high school. That's like, a handful of you.

If over the phone you still address me as "Doval":
you're Karen Manalastas, and I've not called you in a long while.

If you call me "Dovs":
you're problably Pol Carado (and I don't like you very much), or you're a Math blockmate and I like you a lot.

If on the phone you go "Oy, Dovs":
you're probably Emong.

If you call me "Dovski":
ah, you must be from Block W. You're either Pao, Jemjem or even Ryan.

If you call me "Duvie" (Y!M or otherwise) and like to either pinch my arm or hug me in embarrassing moments:
you're Mela. You're very makulit, endearing, funny and I miss ya!

If you called me "Dovar":
you're my confidant Pepper Relos and DAMMIT umuwi ka na sa Pinas!!

If you pronounce my name like "Rhaf" (with a slight silent H sound before the A):
you're Ma'am Sison, my English teacher from High School.

If you call me "Kuya Rap" while clambering up my back:
you're a kid from Kaingin. You're cute.

If you call me "Kuya Rap" and you jump on my back, giving me a slight shock of surprise and discomfort:
you must be Taruc! And yes, I've not been to area enough. Hehe.

IF you call me "Kuya Raf" and spell it like that too:
you're an LnK kid! You're my favorite kind of student, really. :)

If you call me "Jose":
you're the evil Dr. Torres from Pisay. I hate you very, very much.

If you called me "rakstar" the day I met you:
you're Kael. Tangina, rakstar ka!

If you call me "hvnspwn":
you must know me from forum or mail list I subscribe to. It's nice to meet you too.

If you call me as "hvnspwn" while trying to kill me:
you must have met me in BlueSkies years ago in a Counterstrike or Battlefield 1942 game. Yeah, the feeling's mutual.

If you all me "hvnspwn" and you're fighting the person I mentioned above:
you might have been my teammate back then. Hehe.

If you call me "Heaven_Spawn" in real life:
keep quiet. There are only about five of you, and I hold you very, very dear to me.

If you called me "an angel" at one point in time or another:
odds are you're Missy, Christa, Patch, Rach, Hi-C, Ailyn, or anybody I've helped out over the years. I love y'all.

If you called me "angel_spawn" and I corrected you:
You've just GOT to be Crisel.

If you just call me "Kuya":
you're somebody who isn't part of my family, but to me, you mean more than my 'real family' at times. You're either from LnK, Days or from Area.

If you called me "The Walking Tracy McGrady Shrine":
you're Jeb.

If you call me "Shaq":
you're my neighbors with whom I play basketball with. (And no, I don't play like Shaq. I'm not that good..)

It you call me "Direk":
you're Tita Teench.

If you call me "My Favorite Inaanak":
you're Ninang Clarise, and I love you very much.

If you called me "Snowman":
you must've been my classmates from 2nd year high picking on my white lab coat. I did not appreciate that very much.

If you called me "Mr. Santos":
you're a teacher whom I had to correct with my name. You're also likely somebody I'm talking to over an office counter (like, say, when I'm paying tuition) or when I'm explaining where I live when I order pizza.

If you called me "Bespren ng Lahat":
you're Mike Pineda, who wrote a write-up for me once in high school.

If you don't call out my name:
you're probably one of the following: an enemy who hates me, a friend who forgot my name but still smile at me in the halls, or you were talking to somebody at the time.

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I can't remember what the pseudonyms were for my workshop entries, so I can't enter those. :p