I pulled off a tarot card reading somewhere. Ito daw sabi sakin.
how you feel about yourself now
You feel that despite the challenges you have been faced with in the past, present or future, you will find the strength and courage to succeed. Whether you are recovering from ill health, a broken marriage or relationship, or challenges at work, you will find the will power to come out on top. If you are looking to give up any bad habits, such as smoking or drinking for example, this is a good time to do it.
what you most want at this moment
The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is absolute change, to end what you no longer want and start anew. You desire to transform your career or your love life, perhaps your whole lifestyle in general. However catastrophic such changes could be, embracing them will only make you grow in wisdom and experience.
your fears
You are fearful of the future and rather lacking in self-belief - you are afraid your hopes will be dashed. Well don’t be, this is your wish card - a time of joy and fulfilment. Good health, possibly after a time of illness, and good fortune that will give you a new zest of life. If considering a new love affair, new job or career, or travel, then go for it. You may also receive a gift or gifts!
what is going for you
This is an exciting time with much potential for fun and good times. Your confidence should be high, it's a great time for new possibilities. If you are considering leaving your job, home or relationship, in time you will. An unexpected desire will be fulfilled, even before you express it!
what is going against you
Insecurity is a devil that taunts us but only if we listen to that ‘doubting Thomas’ we all have in our heads. Ignore it. What do your instincts tell you? Perhaps you don’t like what they say? Well you could always go against your instincts, but we all know what that leads to don’t we!
outcome
A time for taking stock, an end to an era or phase of your life and brand new opportunities appearing. An opportunity will present itself that must not be ignored and it could have far reaching implications, changing your life for the better. You will enjoy success and enjoyment for past efforts, events will pick up a pace and the outcome will be quicker than expected.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
current music: Stars - Hungry Young Poets
**WARNING**
Super Bangang/Senti Post Ahead
Turn Back Now!
-----------
Ganito kasi yun.
I had a short talk last night with Jihan regarding The Little Prince. I find that the story is rich and resonant, no matter how old or young you are. Like Mela once told me, it's the sort of book you ought to read every four or so years, just to remind you of what's there.
I decided to reread it this morning, while waiting for class. Yes, I almost cried. The only thing that kept me from sobbing was the fact that I was surrounded by so many people in the CTC CompLab.
It was no different from the day Mark Yebra endorsed the book. The familiar feelings were there, all over again, even though they weren't for the same people.
Yes, it was like 3rd year high school over again, sobbing over a sad, sad evening, featuring, ironically, a person in red who would be the first real rose of them all.
So, to the roses, past and present, I love you.
To the foxes, it is for you I still choose to live and keep on striving. Thank you.
--------
Here's a short summary of the reflections I've come up with. Many of them are from Sir Niel as relayed to me by Jihan. Many others, I stumbled onto. I will not say it's the best, comprehensive guide to it, and if you've not read it, turn back because you might complain I'm spoiling the story. Rest assured, the magic is in the book and how it's written, so even if you do read this, you won't miss out.
The Little Prince - Everybody, at least once in their life is like the Prince. Everybody has that child-like quality of seeing what's invisible. In our lives, we all love as selflessly as the Prince, at one point or another.
The Pilot - He is like the Prince, except he's all grown up. Here, we see what was once childlike, and how the world has molded him, with all the cynics and the doubters and all that. There is the fear, the doubt, the need to attend to what are "matters of consequence," but there is still that child gently knocking at the door.
The Snake - People who offer "an easy way out." We all should be wary of them.
The King - People who believe the world must revolve around themselves, and see that what they say goes. They are proud, and are in denial of their own shortcomings.
The Vain Man - People who demand the attention and admiration of others, particularly because there's really nothing special about them. They seek this attention because of that.
The Businessman - People who see the world as nothing but means to an end. Everything's something to be won, bought or traded in their eyes. Their primary goal is to look out for themselves first.
The Drunkard - People who cannot move on from their own self-pity. They seek some kind of solace by running away from their problems instead of facing them down.
The Lamplighter - People driven with by a sense of duty, by a sense of doing the greater good, but leave nothing for themselves. They burn out. They give and give, but leave nothing for themselves.
The Geographer - People who are too lazy to do work for themselves. They are also the biggest skeptics; they'll never believe unless they see proof. They do not explore and discover things for themselves, but would rather have somebody else do that for them. There is no wonder in their lives.
The Rose - People we love, but don't know how to return the love. That's not to say they don't love you. They just are, perhaps, too proud. They know how to take the love, but giving is difficult. They make our lives wonderful, but painful all the same.
The Fox - People who teach us what really matters. People who come and disappear in our lives, and leave impressions forever. They love you, and you love them, no matter how different you are.
--------
And all
I am
is grateful for the stars
which are you
when they shine
oh they shine oh they shine
oh they shine
in my sky...
-Stars, HYP
**WARNING**
Super Bangang/Senti Post Ahead
Turn Back Now!
-----------
Ganito kasi yun.
I had a short talk last night with Jihan regarding The Little Prince. I find that the story is rich and resonant, no matter how old or young you are. Like Mela once told me, it's the sort of book you ought to read every four or so years, just to remind you of what's there.
I decided to reread it this morning, while waiting for class. Yes, I almost cried. The only thing that kept me from sobbing was the fact that I was surrounded by so many people in the CTC CompLab.
It was no different from the day Mark Yebra endorsed the book. The familiar feelings were there, all over again, even though they weren't for the same people.
Yes, it was like 3rd year high school over again, sobbing over a sad, sad evening, featuring, ironically, a person in red who would be the first real rose of them all.
So, to the roses, past and present, I love you.
To the foxes, it is for you I still choose to live and keep on striving. Thank you.
--------
Here's a short summary of the reflections I've come up with. Many of them are from Sir Niel as relayed to me by Jihan. Many others, I stumbled onto. I will not say it's the best, comprehensive guide to it, and if you've not read it, turn back because you might complain I'm spoiling the story. Rest assured, the magic is in the book and how it's written, so even if you do read this, you won't miss out.
The Little Prince - Everybody, at least once in their life is like the Prince. Everybody has that child-like quality of seeing what's invisible. In our lives, we all love as selflessly as the Prince, at one point or another.
The Pilot - He is like the Prince, except he's all grown up. Here, we see what was once childlike, and how the world has molded him, with all the cynics and the doubters and all that. There is the fear, the doubt, the need to attend to what are "matters of consequence," but there is still that child gently knocking at the door.
The Snake - People who offer "an easy way out." We all should be wary of them.
The King - People who believe the world must revolve around themselves, and see that what they say goes. They are proud, and are in denial of their own shortcomings.
The Vain Man - People who demand the attention and admiration of others, particularly because there's really nothing special about them. They seek this attention because of that.
The Businessman - People who see the world as nothing but means to an end. Everything's something to be won, bought or traded in their eyes. Their primary goal is to look out for themselves first.
The Drunkard - People who cannot move on from their own self-pity. They seek some kind of solace by running away from their problems instead of facing them down.
The Lamplighter - People driven with by a sense of duty, by a sense of doing the greater good, but leave nothing for themselves. They burn out. They give and give, but leave nothing for themselves.
The Geographer - People who are too lazy to do work for themselves. They are also the biggest skeptics; they'll never believe unless they see proof. They do not explore and discover things for themselves, but would rather have somebody else do that for them. There is no wonder in their lives.
The Rose - People we love, but don't know how to return the love. That's not to say they don't love you. They just are, perhaps, too proud. They know how to take the love, but giving is difficult. They make our lives wonderful, but painful all the same.
The Fox - People who teach us what really matters. People who come and disappear in our lives, and leave impressions forever. They love you, and you love them, no matter how different you are.
--------
And all
I am
is grateful for the stars
which are you
when they shine
oh they shine oh they shine
oh they shine
in my sky...
-Stars, HYP
Monday, September 26, 2005
Saturday, September 17, 2005
current music: Crazy for You - Sponge Cola
I didn't exactly have it great the past two days. This poem is for all the people who have been hurt, whom I feel so powerless to help.
Rare Lines from One Accustomed to Writing What's Said to Be Obscure Poetry
Emmanuel Lacaba
Because I sing no more,
Speak to the point no more
(Neither is today's lyric fashion),
There are days I stand by doors,
Wish I could play the guitar,
Had more future as a painter,
Enjoyed gardening, or had
A wife before the night's lovemaking
to caress. A fist of cowards I
(Whom other people call an educated man)
Who cannot drop a glass, hurl stones at panes,
Throw chairs around.
I didn't exactly have it great the past two days. This poem is for all the people who have been hurt, whom I feel so powerless to help.
Rare Lines from One Accustomed to Writing What's Said to Be Obscure Poetry
Emmanuel Lacaba
Because I sing no more,
Speak to the point no more
(Neither is today's lyric fashion),
There are days I stand by doors,
Wish I could play the guitar,
Had more future as a painter,
Enjoyed gardening, or had
A wife before the night's lovemaking
to caress. A fist of cowards I
(Whom other people call an educated man)
Who cannot drop a glass, hurl stones at panes,
Throw chairs around.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
current music: Only - Nine Inch Nails
I am crazy, crazy, crazily in awe of the video for Only - Nine Inch Nails. Hwow. And it's made with such sharp thought!
--------
I've had a long, yet sweet day. It's up there, definitely, although it didn't start right.
You see, the other day, my kid brother got into a car accident. He took some groupmates to McDonald's. He was handing food to the people seated at the back, when he didn't realize the car was in gear, and his foot wasn't on the brakes. The car lurched forward. When he slammed the brakes, he had already hit the back of a car.
This was yesterday, and the man he hit (who I found out today was a 75-year old former Barangay captain of Loyola Heights) didn't really get mad nor press charges. But the incident has stirred very 'protective' sentiments, and has advised us to use public transportation for the next few days. Especially since my brother had not asked permission to drive to McDo (which is walking distance from school) and that the LTO papers in the car are somehow, strangely missing.
So there. I took the jeep today. If I stank and I offended sensibilities, my apologies. And in advance, as well. I worry this'll be a trend for a few days.
And to think I had to brave the rain and accident-prone and mugging-prone commuting in order to make it early for an uninspiring Theology lecture, where we did nothing but elaborate on how terrible the state of my country is.
-----
That aside, I had lunch with the gang this afternoon. Haha. Ice cream and spaghetti always tastes better with good company. And so will any future adventures, which I look forward to with relish.
Now it's Jihan's storytelling, my directing, Mela's technical vision and RJ's management (SM siya!) that will get this thing going. And of course, brilliant work from our soon-to-be performers. :)
Yes, I am scared like hell with regards to the many-tiered complications that will go hand-in-hand with the production of Jihan's work. I, however, am happy to be part of this. It's gonna rock.
That is, so long as the four of us go hand in hand too.
---------
I thought I saw somebody from way, way back while Mela and myself were talking.
I wonder. I hope I was unnoticed. If only because I fear more arguments. (Because that's what we were always good at: disagreeing). If only because it's not easy to face your past and your regrets.
But then again, what does one do when he or she sees a ghost? Nothing, right? So what can I do? It's a misplaced page of an old chapter. It has no place in my present anymore.
Even if, in another, younger time, place and age, I'd have pushed back time's pace with all I had to go and make it so.
I am crazy, crazy, crazily in awe of the video for Only - Nine Inch Nails. Hwow. And it's made with such sharp thought!
--------
I've had a long, yet sweet day. It's up there, definitely, although it didn't start right.
You see, the other day, my kid brother got into a car accident. He took some groupmates to McDonald's. He was handing food to the people seated at the back, when he didn't realize the car was in gear, and his foot wasn't on the brakes. The car lurched forward. When he slammed the brakes, he had already hit the back of a car.
This was yesterday, and the man he hit (who I found out today was a 75-year old former Barangay captain of Loyola Heights) didn't really get mad nor press charges. But the incident has stirred very 'protective' sentiments, and has advised us to use public transportation for the next few days. Especially since my brother had not asked permission to drive to McDo (which is walking distance from school) and that the LTO papers in the car are somehow, strangely missing.
So there. I took the jeep today. If I stank and I offended sensibilities, my apologies. And in advance, as well. I worry this'll be a trend for a few days.
And to think I had to brave the rain and accident-prone and mugging-prone commuting in order to make it early for an uninspiring Theology lecture, where we did nothing but elaborate on how terrible the state of my country is.
-----
That aside, I had lunch with the gang this afternoon. Haha. Ice cream and spaghetti always tastes better with good company. And so will any future adventures, which I look forward to with relish.
Now it's Jihan's storytelling, my directing, Mela's technical vision and RJ's management (SM siya!) that will get this thing going. And of course, brilliant work from our soon-to-be performers. :)
Yes, I am scared like hell with regards to the many-tiered complications that will go hand-in-hand with the production of Jihan's work. I, however, am happy to be part of this. It's gonna rock.
That is, so long as the four of us go hand in hand too.
---------
I thought I saw somebody from way, way back while Mela and myself were talking.
I wonder. I hope I was unnoticed. If only because I fear more arguments. (Because that's what we were always good at: disagreeing). If only because it's not easy to face your past and your regrets.
But then again, what does one do when he or she sees a ghost? Nothing, right? So what can I do? It's a misplaced page of an old chapter. It has no place in my present anymore.
Even if, in another, younger time, place and age, I'd have pushed back time's pace with all I had to go and make it so.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
current music: You're Beautiful - James Blunt
Oy, sinong may alam kung magkaano ang bagong speakers? Nakaka-asar na't hindi na ako makakinig ng music ng matino! :s
-----
In other news, I am quite delighted that somebody's wish, after years of waiting has been fulfilled. hehehe.
I am happy to find closure in all this. I can now close this chapter once and for all. (unless something comes up again, as usual.)
Oy, sinong may alam kung magkaano ang bagong speakers? Nakaka-asar na't hindi na ako makakinig ng music ng matino! :s
-----
In other news, I am quite delighted that somebody's wish, after years of waiting has been fulfilled. hehehe.
I am happy to find closure in all this. I can now close this chapter once and for all. (unless something comes up again, as usual.)
Sunday, September 04, 2005
current music: Do for Love - Tupac Shakur
| Your Brain's Pattern |
 You're a simple thinker, and this is actually a very good thing. You don't complicate matters when you don't have to. You look for the simplest explanation or solution, and you go with that. As a result, your mind is uncluttered and free of stress. |
current music: Around the World - Daft Punk
The Name Game
Rules:
1. Write something about 15 different people.
2. You can NOT say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about them, you can NOT tell. If you know you're there, tell me but no reactions.
----------------------------------------------------------------
(1) For a long, long time, we were pretty tight. He used to call up the house quite frequently and we'd talk. I even got to listen to the songs he wrote for his ex way back then. Then when he met this girl, the phone calls (thankfully! haha) stopped. Although, I think he broke up with that girl recently too. He's also a really good guitarist; you should listen to him try rendering Jason Mraz, or another favorite, Lifehouse's "Everything". :)
(2) People, when they meet him, can get the impression that this dude is gay. Really. There were the telltale signs: boyband music, a passion for dance, and a fixation with poetry regarding a certain object that looks phallic (hahaha!). But he's also a very nice guy. Everybody seems to like him. I also remember that I made a joke of him being gay at a party, and he did nothing but smile.
(and yet, making jokes about it to him were UNHEARD OF. I only know one other person who'd dare crack that one.)
(3) Mental bookmark ko sa babaeng ito ay "most expensive cup of coffee," which was by no fault of her own, but a certain AWFUL person she introduced me to. :p This girl had a gig on her birthday, and the dude (in a funky hat) who was the emcee took the microphone and said, quite bluntly "Oy, pagbigyan nyo siya. Nata-tae siya ngayon!" Wahahaha! But she was brilliant onstage nevertheless. I'm CRAZY about her music, while the person in #1, for a time, was CRAZY about HER (haha! isyu lang po). :p
(4) She doesn't check her LJ so much anymore, but I remember when I was Really Depressed back in high school, sa kanya ako nag-confide. I'll bet she'd never believe me when I say she stopped me from killing myself. Hehe. And to think naging close kami dahil sa isang e-mail na pinadala niya ako ng wallpaper ng Samurai X. :p (along with a long string of other emails, of course) I miss her terribly; ANDAMI ko kailangang ikwento sa kanya! :p
We also have a funny sort of charm: I loaned her something of Great Value to me, and it was supposed to give her luck. It's still with her. I'd be grateful to know if she's doing well. :)
(5) This girl, I shall hereby refer to as She-Who-I-Cannot-Name-Because-I'm-Darned-Ashamed. For the longest time, I really, really liked her, but I screwed up QUITE ROYALLY. :p We're friends though. I hardly get to speak to her anymore. And I still can't quite think of roses without cringing, twitching, remembering. I started writing poetry for kicks because she brought it up in a conversation. That conversation has changed my life.
(6) Ang pinaka-malambing na taong kilala ko. She gives me hugs at random, out of the blue. I think it's what she uses in lieu of handshakes. In fact, unti-unti na akong nagiging malambing dahil napupulot ko ito sa kanya! :p She's very up-to-date with what's happening with my life, as I am to hers. We've had disagreements (some lasting weeks), but she's a peach. She's one of 'many of my patients,' and I'd say more but us 'doctors' have 'confidentiality clauses' to consider. hehehe She's also my former boss. :p
(7) To this day, I remember him as the first friend, from way, way back in grade school. Why first friend? I think it was more of "first friend who stuck around", and his family is like family already. He's made quite a name for himself these days. He loaned me a whole bunch of books which shaped my thinking. He's been on TV loads of times, for different reasons. nyahahaha. I still have some of his PS2 games here at home. I'm in no immediate hurry to return them. :p
(8) This girl's really thoughtful; she hands people gifts, little notes and letters just to say 'hi'. I met her in Ateneo's Summer Enrichment Program (SEP) when I was entering 3rd year high. She struck me as very easy to talk to, and by the end of summer, we were always in touch with each others' lives. 3rd and 4th year high were pockmarked with memories of phone calls with her. To this day, she still asks me to write her stuff just for fun. She also got me started tutoring kids, and thus, she has changed my life! :D
(9) 'Soul Brother' is what he calls me, and I would call him thus. Noon, akala ko type niya yung isang tao dito sa list (nyahahahaha), pero hindi pala. Hehe. Naging close kami dahil sa isang particular black stand-up comedian na trip na trip namin. :D He's arguably the only one I can talk to openly about certain taboos in the world. Haha. He was supposed to act for me in a play I was working on, but it didn't happen. Tsk.
(10) Years ago, I had a dream about a really, really cute girl whom I did not know. a few days later, pina-kilala ako sa kanya! (how's that for coincidence?) Needless to say, she's one of the loveliest people I've had the pleasure of being close to; andaming may type sa kanya at isa na siyang isyu queen sa amin! :p At super bait at madasalin pa. These days we don't get to talk over the phone, nor have I updated her as much. Busy kasi ang buhay ng sumasayaw ng street. :) I've told her about the dream too. Just not all the details. haha.
(although I will say that I can't EXACTLY remember who it was I saw in a dream; it's her VOICE that sounds like her. I know that whoever it was, she was tall... and this girl isn't exactly THAT tall. :p)
(11) My prom is loaded with memories. She is one of them, even though she and I both didn't have dates. If the person in #5 started me on poetry, this girl put me on the fast-track to loving it. We were also fond of certain things, like angels, music, good books and quiet moments just talking. Over time, the story was that a certain jealous boyfriend didn't want me calling her (but looking back, I think it was her excuse to keep me away. hehe). We aren't exactly friends anymore; if I saw her in the street one day, I'd recognize her, but odds are she'd already have forgotten me. I had half a mind to go search for her in her gigantic school, but I don't know.
Years have passed, and I don't know whether or not I loved her, or if it was just the idea of her I loved.
(12) I've an ever-changing set of friends over the years. She's one of the few of my friends who's met my whole family, not including uncles and aunts. Ayon sa kanya, ang first impression niya sa akin ay "sino 'tong bwiset na 'to??" (or something to that effect!). She now is a very close friend, and she knows a LOT of my dirt. :p
Tsismis: Noong hinulaan ko boyfriend niya with cards, at kasama siya, may lumabas na card na may meaning na "good news". At the mention of the meaning, we wondered. Sabi namin, "ano kaya yun"? She then put her hand on his, looked him in the eye, and said to him: "Alam mo, I'm pregnant." wahahahahaha! laugh trip talaga.
(13) Groupmates kami nito noong Filipino class, and to this day, we've been pals. I clandestinely snuck her a letter from this boy she was in love with, even though her mom hates that guy's guts. 'Thoughtful' is one of her nicer traits; nga lang, hindi siya marunong makiramay sa taong banas! Hahaha! She's also an amazing actress, and has such a lovely voice! Mental bookmark ko naman dito ay ang "bitterest cup of coffee"; nanlibre ako around the time of my birthday, and it was a very, very difficult week for her then, and the conversations was just... sad. (speaking of which, malapit nga pala b-day niya...)
I will never admit it to her, but she's helped me find God.
(14) Mahina ang ilong ko, but I LOVE the perfume this girl wears. In fact, even when she doesn't wear the perfume, she smells real nice too! I learned how to play poker at the same time as her. Self-proclaimed 'sabog', and very hyper, and yet I've seen her when she's not (though most people can't imagine what that's like). She's one of the girls who tells me "Boys suck!" and goes into tiarides about how men are miserable filth, and I'd just nod my head and say "it's okay." :P
Oh yeah, remember the girl in #12? She wrote a story and quite strangely, kasama itong si #14 dun. :p Riot talaga. :)
(15) You know how they say that the bestest friendships last countless arguments? It is both my insecurity and my pride that I've never had a real, lasting argument with this guy. We've been tight since 1st year high, and we've gone through all sorts of kooky and not-so-pleasant things together. Hehe. Kung sa mundo ng Harry Potter, I can safely say na ako si Sirius Black pag pinag-tabi ninyo kami: siya yung sikat na sikat a dude, at ako yung sidekick na laging promotor ng crazy adventures. :p
Feel free to comment. ΓΌ
The Name Game
Rules:
1. Write something about 15 different people.
2. You can NOT say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about them, you can NOT tell. If you know you're there, tell me but no reactions.
----------------------------------------------------------------
(1) For a long, long time, we were pretty tight. He used to call up the house quite frequently and we'd talk. I even got to listen to the songs he wrote for his ex way back then. Then when he met this girl, the phone calls (thankfully! haha) stopped. Although, I think he broke up with that girl recently too. He's also a really good guitarist; you should listen to him try rendering Jason Mraz, or another favorite, Lifehouse's "Everything". :)
(2) People, when they meet him, can get the impression that this dude is gay. Really. There were the telltale signs: boyband music, a passion for dance, and a fixation with poetry regarding a certain object that looks phallic (hahaha!). But he's also a very nice guy. Everybody seems to like him. I also remember that I made a joke of him being gay at a party, and he did nothing but smile.
(and yet, making jokes about it to him were UNHEARD OF. I only know one other person who'd dare crack that one.)
(3) Mental bookmark ko sa babaeng ito ay "most expensive cup of coffee," which was by no fault of her own, but a certain AWFUL person she introduced me to. :p This girl had a gig on her birthday, and the dude (in a funky hat) who was the emcee took the microphone and said, quite bluntly "Oy, pagbigyan nyo siya. Nata-tae siya ngayon!" Wahahaha! But she was brilliant onstage nevertheless. I'm CRAZY about her music, while the person in #1, for a time, was CRAZY about HER (haha! isyu lang po). :p
(4) She doesn't check her LJ so much anymore, but I remember when I was Really Depressed back in high school, sa kanya ako nag-confide. I'll bet she'd never believe me when I say she stopped me from killing myself. Hehe. And to think naging close kami dahil sa isang e-mail na pinadala niya ako ng wallpaper ng Samurai X. :p (along with a long string of other emails, of course) I miss her terribly; ANDAMI ko kailangang ikwento sa kanya! :p
We also have a funny sort of charm: I loaned her something of Great Value to me, and it was supposed to give her luck. It's still with her. I'd be grateful to know if she's doing well. :)
(5) This girl, I shall hereby refer to as She-Who-I-Cannot-Name-Because-I'm-Darned-Ashamed. For the longest time, I really, really liked her, but I screwed up QUITE ROYALLY. :p We're friends though. I hardly get to speak to her anymore. And I still can't quite think of roses without cringing, twitching, remembering. I started writing poetry for kicks because she brought it up in a conversation. That conversation has changed my life.
(6) Ang pinaka-malambing na taong kilala ko. She gives me hugs at random, out of the blue. I think it's what she uses in lieu of handshakes. In fact, unti-unti na akong nagiging malambing dahil napupulot ko ito sa kanya! :p She's very up-to-date with what's happening with my life, as I am to hers. We've had disagreements (some lasting weeks), but she's a peach. She's one of 'many of my patients,' and I'd say more but us 'doctors' have 'confidentiality clauses' to consider. hehehe She's also my former boss. :p
(7) To this day, I remember him as the first friend, from way, way back in grade school. Why first friend? I think it was more of "first friend who stuck around", and his family is like family already. He's made quite a name for himself these days. He loaned me a whole bunch of books which shaped my thinking. He's been on TV loads of times, for different reasons. nyahahaha. I still have some of his PS2 games here at home. I'm in no immediate hurry to return them. :p
(8) This girl's really thoughtful; she hands people gifts, little notes and letters just to say 'hi'. I met her in Ateneo's Summer Enrichment Program (SEP) when I was entering 3rd year high. She struck me as very easy to talk to, and by the end of summer, we were always in touch with each others' lives. 3rd and 4th year high were pockmarked with memories of phone calls with her. To this day, she still asks me to write her stuff just for fun. She also got me started tutoring kids, and thus, she has changed my life! :D
(9) 'Soul Brother' is what he calls me, and I would call him thus. Noon, akala ko type niya yung isang tao dito sa list (nyahahahaha), pero hindi pala. Hehe. Naging close kami dahil sa isang particular black stand-up comedian na trip na trip namin. :D He's arguably the only one I can talk to openly about certain taboos in the world. Haha. He was supposed to act for me in a play I was working on, but it didn't happen. Tsk.
(10) Years ago, I had a dream about a really, really cute girl whom I did not know. a few days later, pina-kilala ako sa kanya! (how's that for coincidence?) Needless to say, she's one of the loveliest people I've had the pleasure of being close to; andaming may type sa kanya at isa na siyang isyu queen sa amin! :p At super bait at madasalin pa. These days we don't get to talk over the phone, nor have I updated her as much. Busy kasi ang buhay ng sumasayaw ng street. :) I've told her about the dream too. Just not all the details. haha.
(although I will say that I can't EXACTLY remember who it was I saw in a dream; it's her VOICE that sounds like her. I know that whoever it was, she was tall... and this girl isn't exactly THAT tall. :p)
(11) My prom is loaded with memories. She is one of them, even though she and I both didn't have dates. If the person in #5 started me on poetry, this girl put me on the fast-track to loving it. We were also fond of certain things, like angels, music, good books and quiet moments just talking. Over time, the story was that a certain jealous boyfriend didn't want me calling her (but looking back, I think it was her excuse to keep me away. hehe). We aren't exactly friends anymore; if I saw her in the street one day, I'd recognize her, but odds are she'd already have forgotten me. I had half a mind to go search for her in her gigantic school, but I don't know.
Years have passed, and I don't know whether or not I loved her, or if it was just the idea of her I loved.
(12) I've an ever-changing set of friends over the years. She's one of the few of my friends who's met my whole family, not including uncles and aunts. Ayon sa kanya, ang first impression niya sa akin ay "sino 'tong bwiset na 'to??" (or something to that effect!). She now is a very close friend, and she knows a LOT of my dirt. :p
Tsismis: Noong hinulaan ko boyfriend niya with cards, at kasama siya, may lumabas na card na may meaning na "good news". At the mention of the meaning, we wondered. Sabi namin, "ano kaya yun"? She then put her hand on his, looked him in the eye, and said to him: "Alam mo, I'm pregnant." wahahahahaha! laugh trip talaga.
(13) Groupmates kami nito noong Filipino class, and to this day, we've been pals. I clandestinely snuck her a letter from this boy she was in love with, even though her mom hates that guy's guts. 'Thoughtful' is one of her nicer traits; nga lang, hindi siya marunong makiramay sa taong banas! Hahaha! She's also an amazing actress, and has such a lovely voice! Mental bookmark ko naman dito ay ang "bitterest cup of coffee"; nanlibre ako around the time of my birthday, and it was a very, very difficult week for her then, and the conversations was just... sad. (speaking of which, malapit nga pala b-day niya...)
I will never admit it to her, but she's helped me find God.
(14) Mahina ang ilong ko, but I LOVE the perfume this girl wears. In fact, even when she doesn't wear the perfume, she smells real nice too! I learned how to play poker at the same time as her. Self-proclaimed 'sabog', and very hyper, and yet I've seen her when she's not (though most people can't imagine what that's like). She's one of the girls who tells me "Boys suck!" and goes into tiarides about how men are miserable filth, and I'd just nod my head and say "it's okay." :P
Oh yeah, remember the girl in #12? She wrote a story and quite strangely, kasama itong si #14 dun. :p Riot talaga. :)
(15) You know how they say that the bestest friendships last countless arguments? It is both my insecurity and my pride that I've never had a real, lasting argument with this guy. We've been tight since 1st year high, and we've gone through all sorts of kooky and not-so-pleasant things together. Hehe. Kung sa mundo ng Harry Potter, I can safely say na ako si Sirius Black pag pinag-tabi ninyo kami: siya yung sikat na sikat a dude, at ako yung sidekick na laging promotor ng crazy adventures. :p
Feel free to comment. ΓΌ
Saturday, September 03, 2005
current music: I'm Housin' - Rage Against the Machine
Shucks. This blog's starting to gather molds and dirt, figuratively. I suppose it's high time I start updating.
As of today, it's Saturday and my parents have left the city for a retreat. Meantime, I've got a meeting in Ateneo later at around 1 PM, for a focus-group discussion (FGD) regarding Days retreats! How's that for coincidence? My brother and sister are still upstairs, and judging from the fact that I can't hear the TV or stereo working upstairs, they must still be asleep.
I've thought about this meeting. A-Days, for over a year now, has become a very sacred commitment to me. But I wonder, if I should really keep at it, and for how much longer?
Since December, every batch I've staffed in featured me getting sick, be it asthma or a fever, or stomach flu or a combination of all three (Payatas batch survivor!). When I return, I'm dead tired and I often don't have enough energy to go through my normal routines, unlike when I started staffing a year ago. My father, being a doctor, has advised me to take it slow, but that's easier said than done; I've often been assigned for tasks that take me awake late into nights, and need me to carry heavy things. (ie: Housing, like my current music says)
I used to be able to attend all the meetings and was one of the most up-to-date on all operations of the impending retreats. Now, I barely arrive on time for them, and in the retreats themselves, I have trouble being efficient, mostly because of my illnesses. High blood pressure sucks.
And yet, there's still stuff I hope to achieve: staff for another year, sponsor my siblings and/or friends, rector my own batch, do housing again, head the music crew... (I'm laughing at myself in my head at these wishful thoughts!)
It doesn't look any easier for the next few months: I'm directing Jihan's play, I'm preparing my practicum, I'm struggling to make those homeworks for History and Art Writing, I'm trying to write more poems for that thesis with Sir DM, and I'm barely passing in two subjects. I credit my bad time management for these fiascos (jogging with Jihan, lunches out with the girls, etc), but I also know that anything more on my plate will be the end of me.
(Hell, time is so scarce, the worst thing that can happen to me is to fall in love, I tell you.)
What's more, if I do take that LAE, I'd be far, far more stressed juggling everything. And if I pass? That's when the shit hits the fan; I think I may indeed be forced to stop.
So do I give up A-Days? Lord knows I don't want to. Even if the world seems like its conspiring to try and stop me.
Shucks. This blog's starting to gather molds and dirt, figuratively. I suppose it's high time I start updating.
As of today, it's Saturday and my parents have left the city for a retreat. Meantime, I've got a meeting in Ateneo later at around 1 PM, for a focus-group discussion (FGD) regarding Days retreats! How's that for coincidence? My brother and sister are still upstairs, and judging from the fact that I can't hear the TV or stereo working upstairs, they must still be asleep.
I've thought about this meeting. A-Days, for over a year now, has become a very sacred commitment to me. But I wonder, if I should really keep at it, and for how much longer?
Since December, every batch I've staffed in featured me getting sick, be it asthma or a fever, or stomach flu or a combination of all three (Payatas batch survivor!). When I return, I'm dead tired and I often don't have enough energy to go through my normal routines, unlike when I started staffing a year ago. My father, being a doctor, has advised me to take it slow, but that's easier said than done; I've often been assigned for tasks that take me awake late into nights, and need me to carry heavy things. (ie: Housing, like my current music says)
I used to be able to attend all the meetings and was one of the most up-to-date on all operations of the impending retreats. Now, I barely arrive on time for them, and in the retreats themselves, I have trouble being efficient, mostly because of my illnesses. High blood pressure sucks.
And yet, there's still stuff I hope to achieve: staff for another year, sponsor my siblings and/or friends, rector my own batch, do housing again, head the music crew... (I'm laughing at myself in my head at these wishful thoughts!)
It doesn't look any easier for the next few months: I'm directing Jihan's play, I'm preparing my practicum, I'm struggling to make those homeworks for History and Art Writing, I'm trying to write more poems for that thesis with Sir DM, and I'm barely passing in two subjects. I credit my bad time management for these fiascos (jogging with Jihan, lunches out with the girls, etc), but I also know that anything more on my plate will be the end of me.
(Hell, time is so scarce, the worst thing that can happen to me is to fall in love, I tell you.)
What's more, if I do take that LAE, I'd be far, far more stressed juggling everything. And if I pass? That's when the shit hits the fan; I think I may indeed be forced to stop.
So do I give up A-Days? Lord knows I don't want to. Even if the world seems like its conspiring to try and stop me.
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