current music: I Didn't Know I Was Looking For Love - Everything but the Girl
Yeah. I don't know why, but I've fallen into a bit of a funk. I'm listening to EBTG (like right now) and I have trouble getting out of bed. I have trouble sleeping. I write and write and write on my journals and other blogs and things for work, but they're never near what I want to say, in form or word. I am distracted more. It's only my kendo that keeps me genuinely busy enough to push away my daydreams, but I can only swing a bamboo sword around for so long. After that, I'm in bed, resting, and invariably, dreaming of angels flitting around the sky, smiling a smile that doesn't go away.
Such is what happens when a woman crosses my life, or rather, returns. And yes, I know I am thinking too much, and I know I should stop. Then again, the "too much thinking" isn't what I think is bad; its the "too much feeling".
I hate this, but I feel that I will have to deal with this thing; I hardly shake a "bad moon" overnight.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I am touched that you still try, that you still want me in your life, never mind that I'm more often than not found at the fringes of your waking mind's eye, at the outskirts of the light that is your memory.
I am happy we're still cool, despite everything.
But right now?
I honestly don't know if you're still worth all that trouble, never mind the six or seven years I've been lighting these candles in my chest, counting stars in the sky, or watching the sea and thinking of you, rising from waves like a lovely mermaid with arms open for me and me alone.
All that I've done, and as hard as it is for me to cast you like a cancer, a part of me finds that I'm probably really cutting off the nerves that makes the heart beat. That I really want you back. That I really did mean it when I said that I loved you, and that the many years I've lived really add up to this moment when I realize that I really can't take that back.
And it kills me because I know I should really just leave you on the wayside, after all the crap you've made me feel.
I am happy we're still cool, despite everything.
But right now?
I honestly don't know if you're still worth all that trouble, never mind the six or seven years I've been lighting these candles in my chest, counting stars in the sky, or watching the sea and thinking of you, rising from waves like a lovely mermaid with arms open for me and me alone.
All that I've done, and as hard as it is for me to cast you like a cancer, a part of me finds that I'm probably really cutting off the nerves that makes the heart beat. That I really want you back. That I really did mean it when I said that I loved you, and that the many years I've lived really add up to this moment when I realize that I really can't take that back.
And it kills me because I know I should really just leave you on the wayside, after all the crap you've made me feel.
28 things Most Girls don't know
(may point siya, come to think of it)
1.--Guys may be flirting around all day
but before they go to sleep, they
always think about the girl they truly
care about.
2.--Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
3.--Guys will do anything just to get
you to notice him
4.--Guys hate it when you talk about
your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
5.--Boyfriends need to be reassured
often that they're still loved.
6.--Don't talk about your guy friends
to
your boyfriend.
7.--Guys get jealous easily.
8.--Guys are more emotional than they'd
like people to think.
9.--Giving a guy a hanging message
like "You know
what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make
him jump to a conclusion that is far
from what you are thinking. And he'll
assume he did something wrong and
he'll obsess about it trying to figure
it out.
10.--Guys are good flatterers when
courting but they usually stammer when
they talk to a girl they really like.
11.--A usual act that proves that the
guy
likes you is when he teases you.
12.--Guys love you more than you love
them if they are serious in your
relationships.
13.--Guys think WAY too much. One small
thing a girl does, even if she doesn't
notice it can make the guy think about
it for hours, trying to figure out
what it meant.
14.--Guys seek for advice from girls
not
other guys. Because most guys think
alike, so if one guy's confused, then
we're all confused.
15.--When a guy asks you to leave him
alone, he's just actually
saying, "Please come and listen to me."
16.--If a guy starts to talk seriously,
listen to him. It doesn't happen that
often, so when it does, you know
something's up.
17.--If your best guy friend seems to
avoid you or is never around when
you're with your boyfriend, he's
probably jealous and likes you.
18.--When a guy tells you that you are
beautiful, don't say you aren't. It
makes them want to stop telling you
because they don't want you to
disagree with them.
19--When a guy looks at you for longer
than a second, he's definitely
thinking something.
20--Guys don't like girls who punch
harder than they do.
21--A guy has more problems than you
can
see with your naked eyes.
22--Don't be a snob. Guys can be
intimidated and give up easily.
23--Guys talk about girls more than
girls talk about guys.
24--Guys hate rejection, but they hate
being led on even more.
25--If you are going to reject a guy,
just do it. Don't say they are like a
brother or just good friends, it just
hurts even more. Tell them that you
aren't interested in a relationship
and they will respect you.
26--Guys really think that girls are
strange and have unpredictable
decisions and are MAD confusing but
somehow are drawn even more to them.
27--When a guy sacrifices his sleep and
health just to be with you, he really
likes you and wants to be with you as
much as possible.
28---Girls, if u don't repost this
within 1 hr then you will lose the guy
of your life
---Guys if you don't repost this in
one hr then you will lose the girl of
your life.
post this as:
28 things most girls dont know
(may point siya, come to think of it)
1.--Guys may be flirting around all day
but before they go to sleep, they
always think about the girl they truly
care about.
2.--Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
3.--Guys will do anything just to get
you to notice him
4.--Guys hate it when you talk about
your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
5.--Boyfriends need to be reassured
often that they're still loved.
6.--Don't talk about your guy friends
to
your boyfriend.
7.--Guys get jealous easily.
8.--Guys are more emotional than they'd
like people to think.
9.--Giving a guy a hanging message
like "You know
what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make
him jump to a conclusion that is far
from what you are thinking. And he'll
assume he did something wrong and
he'll obsess about it trying to figure
it out.
10.--Guys are good flatterers when
courting but they usually stammer when
they talk to a girl they really like.
11.--A usual act that proves that the
guy
likes you is when he teases you.
12.--Guys love you more than you love
them if they are serious in your
relationships.
13.--Guys think WAY too much. One small
thing a girl does, even if she doesn't
notice it can make the guy think about
it for hours, trying to figure out
what it meant.
14.--Guys seek for advice from girls
not
other guys. Because most guys think
alike, so if one guy's confused, then
we're all confused.
15.--When a guy asks you to leave him
alone, he's just actually
saying, "Please come and listen to me."
16.--If a guy starts to talk seriously,
listen to him. It doesn't happen that
often, so when it does, you know
something's up.
17.--If your best guy friend seems to
avoid you or is never around when
you're with your boyfriend, he's
probably jealous and likes you.
18.--When a guy tells you that you are
beautiful, don't say you aren't. It
makes them want to stop telling you
because they don't want you to
disagree with them.
19--When a guy looks at you for longer
than a second, he's definitely
thinking something.
20--Guys don't like girls who punch
harder than they do.
21--A guy has more problems than you
can
see with your naked eyes.
22--Don't be a snob. Guys can be
intimidated and give up easily.
23--Guys talk about girls more than
girls talk about guys.
24--Guys hate rejection, but they hate
being led on even more.
25--If you are going to reject a guy,
just do it. Don't say they are like a
brother or just good friends, it just
hurts even more. Tell them that you
aren't interested in a relationship
and they will respect you.
26--Guys really think that girls are
strange and have unpredictable
decisions and are MAD confusing but
somehow are drawn even more to them.
27--When a guy sacrifices his sleep and
health just to be with you, he really
likes you and wants to be with you as
much as possible.
28---Girls, if u don't repost this
within 1 hr then you will lose the guy
of your life
---Guys if you don't repost this in
one hr then you will lose the girl of
your life.
post this as:
28 things most girls dont know
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
current music: Solu Music - Fade (original mix)
Wishing! (a 2008 wish-list)
I still can't believe I'll be 24 within a week! w00t!
(heck, some days I still have trouble imagining myself aging beyond 20)
Like I said last post, I'd be putting up a wish-list. This should also cover stuff into next year. This is is primarily for my aunts and uncles overseas, but can apply for everyone! So first, the blacklist.
DO NOT GET ME:
1.) CD's of Music
Simple principle: I'm very picky. While I always say I'll listen to anything, don't assume I'll readily pop that CD of a hot new emo band in my car player or in my iPod. Sorry na lang. If I don't ask for it, I'll find it on my own.
2.) Any dumb movie/video game/book you think I'll like.
Same principle. Odds are, I already have copies of movies I openly like (ie: Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Love Actually). So save yourself the drama. Same goes for books (Watchmen, Trainspotting, Blade of the Immortal) and video games (Katamari, NBA Live, Final Fantasy). Give money to poor instead.
3.) Clothes
Duh. They won't fit. Trust me. Buy me clothes when you're out with me instead. This includes shoes and socks.
4.) Planners of any kind
I already got a cool one. So no dice.
So what do I want?
1.) Scarves!
One of my most favorite things to wear. If you needed to find me in a crowd, I'd wear a scarf. It's the least common article of clothing in the Philippines and it's one of the things I love using the most. I'll take any kind, it's sure to make my day. The longer the better!
2.) A decent soccer ball!
Because even if it's my favorite sport, I don't have a nice ball for it! Not since after the one I had back in college got punctured. So yeah. Please?
3.) Money!
Self-explanatory. Even better, donate the money to the AAA-Gawad Kalinga village! :D
4.) A DVD/VCD/Blue-Ray/VHS/etc of Interstella 5555!
Daft Punk and Leiji M's masterpiece. I already have my own downloaded copy but that'll be awesome to have it on original DVD.
5.) Something to remember you by.
An easy thing to get me, and you're limited only by your creativity. Did you see Chimoms's 1UP mushroom? Ganyan. The more creative, the better. One of my favorites was a boomerang that my friend brought back from Australia. Panalo!
6.) 160 GB iPod Classic/iPod Touch
It's not yet time for me to retire my 5th generation 30 GB, but I know I can do with an upgrade. You don't have to buy me a new one; if you let me know where I can "trade up" mine (swap plus cash for a 160 like they do with cellphones) I'll be cool.
7.) DVD's of TV Shows!
It's no secret: I DO NOT WATCH TV, not anymore since our TV set got busted and lost all its color. I only get to view things when I have video copies of them on DVD or whatever. (or kung super pumipilit akong manood ng Studio23 or whatever). So help me naman. :p
8.) House Music!
A burned CD of house means more to me than that grammy-nominated metal group they have on store shelves. Yes, I am encouraging this one because I'd love more people to go and listen to the CD's you will burn yourselves! Personal preferences lean toward goovy deep house and French house genres. :D
9.) Next-gen games machines!
Or is it "current gen"? I don't own any of the three big players out there (Xbox360, PS3, Nintendo Wii) and I'm at loathe to pick just one. So whoever makes it easier on me by getting me any of them will be a hero! :D
10.) Books of Poetry.
Be very careful with this one. I love poetry and relish and book I get, but if you will indeed buy me something, do NOT get from Ateneo's ORP bookstore or from National Bookstore Katipunan. :p I've cherry-picked those places. Best go for the books that go "Complete works" of poets! Sulit lagi.
Anyway, that'll be fine. There's more stuff, but they're a bit "pie-in-the-sky" for me. hehehe!
Wishing! (a 2008 wish-list)
I still can't believe I'll be 24 within a week! w00t!
(heck, some days I still have trouble imagining myself aging beyond 20)
Like I said last post, I'd be putting up a wish-list. This should also cover stuff into next year. This is is primarily for my aunts and uncles overseas, but can apply for everyone! So first, the blacklist.
DO NOT GET ME:
1.) CD's of Music
Simple principle: I'm very picky. While I always say I'll listen to anything, don't assume I'll readily pop that CD of a hot new emo band in my car player or in my iPod. Sorry na lang. If I don't ask for it, I'll find it on my own.
2.) Any dumb movie/video game/book you think I'll like.
Same principle. Odds are, I already have copies of movies I openly like (ie: Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Love Actually). So save yourself the drama. Same goes for books (Watchmen, Trainspotting, Blade of the Immortal) and video games (Katamari, NBA Live, Final Fantasy). Give money to poor instead.
3.) Clothes
Duh. They won't fit. Trust me. Buy me clothes when you're out with me instead. This includes shoes and socks.
4.) Planners of any kind
I already got a cool one. So no dice.
So what do I want?
1.) Scarves!
One of my most favorite things to wear. If you needed to find me in a crowd, I'd wear a scarf. It's the least common article of clothing in the Philippines and it's one of the things I love using the most. I'll take any kind, it's sure to make my day. The longer the better!
2.) A decent soccer ball!
Because even if it's my favorite sport, I don't have a nice ball for it! Not since after the one I had back in college got punctured. So yeah. Please?
3.) Money!
Self-explanatory. Even better, donate the money to the AAA-Gawad Kalinga village! :D
4.) A DVD/VCD/Blue-Ray/VHS/etc of Interstella 5555!
Daft Punk and Leiji M's masterpiece. I already have my own downloaded copy but that'll be awesome to have it on original DVD.
5.) Something to remember you by.
An easy thing to get me, and you're limited only by your creativity. Did you see Chimoms's 1UP mushroom? Ganyan. The more creative, the better. One of my favorites was a boomerang that my friend brought back from Australia. Panalo!
6.) 160 GB iPod Classic/iPod Touch
It's not yet time for me to retire my 5th generation 30 GB, but I know I can do with an upgrade. You don't have to buy me a new one; if you let me know where I can "trade up" mine (swap plus cash for a 160 like they do with cellphones) I'll be cool.
7.) DVD's of TV Shows!
It's no secret: I DO NOT WATCH TV, not anymore since our TV set got busted and lost all its color. I only get to view things when I have video copies of them on DVD or whatever. (or kung super pumipilit akong manood ng Studio23 or whatever). So help me naman. :p
8.) House Music!
A burned CD of house means more to me than that grammy-nominated metal group they have on store shelves. Yes, I am encouraging this one because I'd love more people to go and listen to the CD's you will burn yourselves! Personal preferences lean toward goovy deep house and French house genres. :D
9.) Next-gen games machines!
Or is it "current gen"? I don't own any of the three big players out there (Xbox360, PS3, Nintendo Wii) and I'm at loathe to pick just one. So whoever makes it easier on me by getting me any of them will be a hero! :D
10.) Books of Poetry.
Be very careful with this one. I love poetry and relish and book I get, but if you will indeed buy me something, do NOT get from Ateneo's ORP bookstore or from National Bookstore Katipunan. :p I've cherry-picked those places. Best go for the books that go "Complete works" of poets! Sulit lagi.
Anyway, that'll be fine. There's more stuff, but they're a bit "pie-in-the-sky" for me. hehehe!
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