Fan Mail: thatgamecompany

Hi everyone from thatgamecompany!

My name is Raph, and I'm a graduate student here in the Philippines. I love video games, and I recently picked up the Collector's Edition of your games for the PlayStation 3 at my local store. It was a good day: I finally got hold of your titles! Living here the urban sprawl of Metro Manila, there's no real support for an online store that lets us get digital releases, (no support from Xbox Live Arcade nor the PlayStation Store as of this writing) so it was a godsend that a boxed collected set was made available. I bought it, and after hearing the gaming press sing praises for "Journey", "flower" and "flOw", and I finally get to play them!

After my first run with "Journey", I was moved to tears.

I'm currently a grad student learning Counseling Psychology, and my future work trajectory is all about helping people cope with life challenges. Many of the people I've been asked to look after all come to me depressed, or on drugs, or even already confined for psychiatric care, and I'm being trained to provide therapeutic work for them. I listen to stories of people being abused, or abusing themselves, and my job is to listen and hold their trust as a total stranger. It's challenging because I'm ending my days heavier, moodier, and more stressed out because I have to "help people carry" the emotions that they take from their daily lives. I go home and play video games but I only get so much relief from the titles out there on the market today, full of violence and anger, all of which I already see regularly in my young practice. 

Playing "Journey" was startling because I ran into a total stranger and he/she accompanied me all the way through the top of the mountain. I could tell it wasn't the first run of my companion from the longer scarf and the patterns on the robes. Yet, at the top of every hill he/she waited for me to climb up after them, at the bottom of every slide he/she waited for me, and at points I got lost he/she would call and I'd know who to follow.

Suddenly, it was like the tables of my life were reversed. Where I had to be trusted, at that run I was the one who had to trust others. I was the one being helped by a total stranger. I could put my, well, journey's fate to a total stranger. And they helped me through the whole way too, and I tried to help as well.

It made me realize that I don't always have all the answers. I learned how to be more open to the kindness of others, which I started to feel I was losing touch with (and it's almost a requirement for my work-path). Lately, most of my interactions with people are "challenging" and demand I tackle with a mind-set of "fix this". Here was a time where I'm playing a game and the mind-set was "let's do this together" and it's so refreshing.

I felt that because of the profound experience the game made for me, I feel more "whole" as a person, more in touch with that side of myself that can relate to others. It's funny how a game with no chat functions managed to open me to somebody else, and with hope, to others in life. I felt that it's such a new experience for games as a whole, and I think somehow it's a shame not enough people have gotten to play this.

Maybe someday I'll be able to help someone else along their own journey, both in the game, and as someone to trust in their lives as a counselor. I learned here that we open ourselves when you take away the external things - language, gender, identity - and focus on the person as a person, and that together you're stronger than alone. I suppose that someday I could even use the game as a way to provide people with some relief too, and get them to play it! I have a good feeling some of my clients can feel a lot better after buying your games!

It's astonishing what your team at thatgamecompany is doing everyday, and the world is richer because of what you're doing and because of the heart you all put into it. Even if others dismiss video games as toys for children, I know better: my own life is greatly made richer.

I hope that your team continues to produce amazing things. I hope you know how you've helped impact my life, and that you may continue to impact others' lives too.

Maraming salamat po. Mabuhay ang thatgamecompany!
(Thank you very much. Long live thatgamecompany!)

With warmth.

current music:
Everything But The Girl - I Always Was Your Girl (crazy, I know)



I was digging through old writing I did and decided to put up a copy of this here. It was part of Apple's call for messages following the passing away of Steve Jobs. I greatly admired Apple, as a company, and also as the (pardon the pun) fruit of a pioneering vision. I was sad to hear of his passing. I wrote this. I hope you like it.


Dear friends in Apple,

Hi, my name is Raph Doval-Santos. I'm from the Philippines, and am one of many people inspired by the late Steve Jobs. I'm writing to share in both mourning his passing, as well as celebrating the great gift of his life, and how he's made our world a better place.

I was four years old when I first touched a Macintosh. It was 1988, and my aunt at the time was a programmer making a CASE tool for the early Macs. She had a one of the early units at home; I don't remember the model anymore as I was too young. Still, it was the first time I ever saw a mouse. I even remember how pretty the letters looked, and how the white icons on the screen seemed nice to look at. I remembered how much easier it felt to use, compared to the green-and-black letters out of the other computers I had seen then.

My aunt then let me play video games on it - primitive billiards table games - and it shaped me forever. It began not only a long love affair with video games, but also a love for technology, and the never-ending childlike curiosity to explore machines, gadgets, software, and emerging innovations.

This story might be nothing new to most, but in a third-world country where most people shun the new and threateningly exotic solutions to problems, it the first seeds of my life-long hunger to learn and inquisitive approach to finding answers to questions no matter how big or small. It was like a first lesson in learning that even what isn't familiar and scary may still be the door to another way of thinking and working.

At an early age, I was lucky to be exposed to technology. I'm probably one of millions of my generation that grew up acquainted with machines, and the impact they made on my life. I remember growing up playing games on computers, writing poetry on a screen, and have listened to music made portable. I'm immersed in technology, and when I pass on, I'll likely be immersed even more deeply.

I didn't realize much across the years I lived. Looking back, I do see now a bigger picture, the same way Steve eloquently described as "connecting the dots looking backward". Steve's innovations in technology, taken individually might not shake the world right away. Yet, they transformed the way we looked at tech. Today we expect tech to be stylish, ergonomic, and intelligently designed. The first time I saw an iPod, and I remember thinking "How easy to use a track wheel is!" and I thought from then on I'd never go back to pushing buttons again. I remember a time when touch-screen clipboard pads were a thing of Star Trek; now they're real, and they're all Apple's inventions.

Steve Jobs, however, wasn't just a builder of pretty things - many people do that. What stuns us is how he did it with a passion that few can do. He loved what he did. His company was powered by that passion. Through this, Apple made wonderful things, and I felt like somebody out there really gave careful, loving thought about what I was going to use, because he or she cared about how I felt using it, and in that way, I felt cared for. Whenever I opened my MacBook or picked a new song from my iTunes playlist, I'm grateful for the passion Steve put into his work. I'm grateful for how my life is easier because my MacBook doesn't get viruses like my PC's, or how the iPhone's camera actually takes lovely shots unlike other phone-cameras. Where something is just an 'add-on', on Apple it's an essential bit, and I love the work Apple has done, and by extension, what Steve Jobs has done.

Steve's great love and desire to follow through for what he loved so greatly pushed the limits of what the status quo could be. We may not all be Apple fans. We may not all be directly affected by his life's ending. But we must take away something of how his tireless drive for life pushed us all forward. He was an example of what he preached, and this became an inspiration in my life's big decision-points.

Steve challenged us all to do what we loved to do, with confidence and a certain "recklessness" born of faith it all will be well. It's this same courage that has directed my life today, as a fund raising associate in a non-profit that helps charities and other advocacy groups perform the work that pushes the world forward. It's the same kind of 'abandon' that made me choose to leave my career on hold, and explore the southern Philippines as a Jesuit volunteer, teaching high school English to students of the indigenous tribal peoples.

My life was changed by Steve Jobs's example. I chose to take this road-less-traveled in a certain solidarity with what Steve Jobs said - do what we love, waste nothing of your life, and have faith it works out. I will say that while I may never build a touch-screen mobile device, or a new cloud-computing solution, if my own journey led me to new students being able to pass their college entrance tests, or for another family to be served be a well-funded charity, then the world is brighter by me. And it is brighter by me, because of the light Steve's example was to me.

My heart goes out to Steve Jobs' family, and his close friends. I too, will miss him, for the light he lit half a world away has already been the beacon that pushes me forward, in my corner of the world. I will pray for him and his family, and I hope somebody else, too, may have had a life made better by his work and his example.


With warmth,
Raph

current music: The Mass Effect 3 OST playing in my mind in the quiet evening.

I take for granted how a house is full of strange memories. You have closets, drawers, shelves. There are boxes, folders, envelopes, bags. They all contain things. They can be papers from school, some you liked, some you never read. They can be old trinkets: gifts, keepsakes, things to help you remember.

I am in the house den. I was digging through the things because, like any video game enthusiast on a budget, I was looking for something old to install on my PC. From there, I'd fire up something old, just to help me pass the time. It's like reading an old book for me, these old games. The pixels and the sounds are what fill the imagination much like the pages of well-worn favorites.

In my sifting through the CD's, I saw old mixtapes I made from college. Some of them were from the plays I was directing for class. Others were backups of old favorite hip-hop tracks I picked up along the way. There were also DVD's mixed up with the audio CD's, some were old software copies that the publishers likely didn't remember anymore. Still others were CD's that hadn't even been opened up yet, likely bought off the shelf on discount and never given much attention to.

Our homes are like our minds. They house things we can't remember, or years we prefer to tune out and forget. We clean them out every now and then, re-evaluating the junk that piles up and discarding what we don't need. We upgrade, or we replace, or we augment what we have. Rarely we keep something past its need-due-date, unless it's especially old, or especially special. Or only if we have the space at home.

I'm starting to reflect that our family is fond of remembering. We have a largish house. There are lots of things we don't need. These things, we are too unwilling to part with. You wonder sometimes if the old arguments we had or old grudges we keep bringing up as a family reflect in our things. Like, every time you look at a row of encyclopedia books on a shelf, you remember the day you wanted to pound your five year old brother with them, or the time you look at a statue, you wonder if your teenage daughter and that boy she fancied was worth the restless shouting contest that kept the neighbors up.

And likewise, I wonder if people with smaller houses don't remember. I wonder if it's easier for them to let go of bad habits or bad memories. If they're less burdened by dusty, suffocating thoughts. If they're happier.

Dancing Drawings

(cross posted on heaven-spawn.livejournal.com)

I don't watch much TV, but when I do, I watch cartoons.

I really don't remember how it began, but for all my life, my great love has been animation. More specifically, cartoons.

I remember when I was about 2 or 3 years old, I started trying to draw. My parents remember how the walls of our old home were covered in crayon wax. I even remember that the color was left on for a long time. I suppose they were either sentimental, or they wanted to make me feel like what I scrawled on them was special. Still. I remember moving my hands, making shapes. I loved lessons I learned about shapes too: squares, triangles, circles. I liked trying to put images on paper, even if I was never at all very good at it (and still not). Skill and love are not always the same thing.

I did, however, remember a time when I saw a cartoon. It must have been Mickey Mouse, because I remember how he looked like he was made of simple shapes: circles. I thought I could draw that. But he moved.

I looked for a sheet of paper and I tried to approximate Mickey with pencil. He looked more like a bean afterwards. And to add to my frustration: the TV version moved. Mine didn't.

And he talked! It was just gibberish then. Later, I got to see other cartoons and started deriving meaning from language properly, it was more than just pictures. They were stories. They were characters. They were a world that didn't exist (they weren't "real life" like the news shows of my parents or the drama shows of the house helpers), but they were more fun.

Video games were an even bigger source of amazement. Cartoons, and I could make them move! I finally had a way to 'paint' my own cartoon story, thanks to moving pixels and electronics. When Mario jumped, he did it because I said so, unlike that hapless coyote who falls for the Road Runner's tricks. Games then never looked as nice as the TV shows, but I didn't mind. (On some days, I'd watch the "Super Mario Brothers' Super Show" on Channel 2 and clutch the controller of our Family Computer, as if I were guiding Mario save Princess Peach yet again.)

To this day I still watch cartoons. Age didn't make me dismiss them as for kids only: learning about how they are made and the time it takes made me really, really get into them deeper. I read somewhere that one episode of "The Simpsons" used to take up to 148 days to finish: writing, drawing, voice acting, the works. It would take much longer for an epic like "The Lion King" or "WALL-E". The stories also didn't necessarily have to be for children either; any fan of anime will attest to that.

There's anime, there's CGI, there's traditional cel-based shows, and I'd watch them all. Hell, I still watch cartoons on TV. I guess you never really leave a love you've had for years on end.

Here's a couple of favorite TV shows I've nurtured. I'll leave out anime for this post; there are too many!





The Real Ghostbusters came first, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles really put me on the road to liking cartoons forever! It was fate, I guess, that I had the same name as my favorite one, the sarcastic Raphael. It was a kids' favorite for lots of reasons: memorable characters, ninja fighting action, and that song! The remakes in the 2000's never got that charm back, but still, this one I remember very fondly.





The Simpsons used to appear regularly on Fridays, back in a time when Friday evenings on local TV were exclusively for children. I liked it then because it was funny slapstick. I got older, and started understanding the more outrageous comedy, particularly the provocative jokes that blew right past my 8-year old self. To this day, I still think it's good comedy. I still look for this when I channel surf. 23 years down and it's still interesting, never mind the shine came off some years ago.




I must be the only one who misses cartoons on Fridays on Philippine TV. Batman: The Animated Series made its debut in this city through those Friday nights. At the time, it was a sit-in to replace the Ninja Turtles when the series started to spiral out. Little did anybody know it would be a masterpiece of animated storytelling, and broadcast to a whole country every week for years! The X-Men series had more fans, and The Simpsons was more mature, but Batman was like the basketball pick and roll: fundamental and core to any cartoon fan's experience. And yes, it did explore deep ideas like psychosis, regret, and ultimately self-redemption. Hell, if I have kids one day I want them to grow up watching this too.





Codename: Kids Next Door was pure fun for me, mostly because it had a certain nostalgia only grown-ups can understand. The kids are the heroes, the adults are villains, and they fight for the right to enjoy their youth: candy, playtime, and tree houses all included. I also liked how the characters, who are children, all know and understand the inevitable: they will grow up, and have to stop, and be adults too. So, they go all-out and enjoy their youth for all it's worth. Kinda like how we all have to own up to mortality, and say "yes" to what we have in life today.






In high school, South Park was the cool kids' show. If you knew this, you were cool. Especially at the time when nobody really wanted to be profane and outright crass, and especially depict otherwise adorable-looking children as such. It was really funny then because it was irreverent and wild. Still makes me laugh to this day, but Lord knows I hardly see it around today.




Wait, scratch what I just said. The REAL Cool Kids of high school were into Beavis and Butt-head. Hell, the GRADE SCHOOL kids who got to see this (especially at a time when it was hard to get cable, and MTV Asia didn't carry this show yet) were the cool ones. Why? Know what, just YouTube a clip of them laughing. I don't care about what, just listen. Exposure to this show makes you have fun somehow! It's not drugs, but it comes close. Hell, MTV should just scrap Jersey Shore and do re-runs of this instead. It's more interesting anyway, the butt-monkeys. (And YES, they have new episodes of this. I am delighted.)




You can't talk about smart cartoons without talking about Daria. Starring a recurring character off of Beavis and Butt-head, the show depicts high school life quite well. By "well", I mean with more realism than most high school stories, especially at the time when "Dawson's Creek" was the biggest TV show (and a favorite also, but that's a different story). Biting, acerbic, subversive and witty as hell, this show was incredible. I'd look for the DVD set somewhere.



Oh my God, this show was made of GOLD. Rocko's Modern Life was the precursor to Spongebob Squarepants. Heck, much of Spongebob owes its life to Rocko, as the Rocko team worked on Spongebob later in life. The comedic style stuck too. But what made Rocko better for me was how they were more overt in showing themes NOT FOR KIDS, while still targeting kids! (The episode of Mrs. Bighead trying to seduce Rocko was a particular case that made its way to the newspapers here.) Of course the show pushed the limits, and I liked it that way. Nickelodeon stopped being as adventurous ever since, which is sad.




I think it was the hip-hop hook of the intro that got me. The Boondocks, based on Aaron McGruder's comic strip, strikes a chord for the cause of racial stereotypes. "A black South Park with a bigger brain," I like to think of it, but that's unfair. South Park was never this smart. This is satire at its finest, using racist comedy and crisp Japanese animation to execute a very, very funny show. The insights presented are also very sensitive and clever, but if you're ignorant you'll probably only notice the N-word jokes.




Samurai Jack, I loved too. It didn't have a lot of jokes. It didn't even seem to have a lot of cheer and brightness to its dystopic future setting. It did, however, show a lot about honor, righteousness, and personal strength. Okay, I made that up. It's art is BEAUTIFUL and I love it for it. The action is also rightly intense and at times downright violent. It would be the foundation of the Star Wars: Clone Wars animated shorts produced by Cartoon Network, which also turned into gold. While we always knew how these kinds of shows would end, it was also still awesome how they got told, and lovingly voiced.




Had to post The Rugrats, just to balance Cartoon Network's dominance. (Sorry Nick! Your cartoons aren't as cool.) But sensitivity aside? Rugrats wasn't always about a moral lesson or some big picture that only adults could see. This one I loved because it was 100% pure charm. It's cute, it's clever, and it's adorable. It also had characters you could relate to in surprising ways. Yes, they're babies, but it makes you wonder: if babies were like that, could we be so 'baby-like' ourselves? Rumor has it that even after the "All Grown Up" spinoff, they're making more episodes, and for that I'm happy.





I have gone full-circle maybe. Adventure Time is a kids' show that isn't ashamed of being for kids. It's about a boy and his magical dog in the Land of Ooo. It's also got possibly the BEST WRITING of any comedic cartoon today. It's like the wildest imagination of people is distilled into this show, and rendered in adorable, ridiculous, and incredibly random ways. I mean, where else can the sentence "Rescue Princess Bubblegum and Lady Rainicorn from the Ice King and his evil penguin Gunter with the help of Marceline the Vampire Queen" make sense if not with a child? I grew up loving the cartoons that didn't aim for kids; now I'm an adult and I love Adventure Time. (But YES, the show has jokes no child will understand! Mwahahahaha.)



The old quote was "Growing up is mandatory, growing old is optional," or some such thing. I mean, you can choose to be old. Or you can choose to stay young. Little did I know that choice was made for me, way, way before it presented itself. And yes, I am having more fun today than I did before.