current music: One - U2

Today, I've made peace with my kid sister. Begrudingly at first, I've decided to break the ice and talk.

It's okay. I guess we settled that there are aspects to our personas that shan't be changed. I moved that we shouldn't. I guess she understood.

Dammit, I still feel shortchanged.

You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.You make a good puppet.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/crappygiftquiz.html">What Crappy Gift Are You?

45 things survey.

1. name?> Jose Raphael Federico Gan Doval-Santos.

2. How old are you?> 20

3. Do you have any nickname?> Raph. Yun lang, please.

4. When was your first love?> ahehehehe. matagaaaal na.

5. First kiss?> see above. more or less the same day.

6. How tall are you?> 5'7'' or 5'8''. maybe taller.

7. How many ex gf/bf do u have?> wala. :p

8. Sour, spicy or sweet?> sweet, ideally.

9. What would u do when you are free?> use a PC, listen to music, talk to friends

10. Obsessions> music, poetry, soccer, basketball

11. Do you club?> no thanks. not my thing.

12.What are your favorite magazines> FHM, PULP, Flip (i miss this), Sports Illustrated, GQ, The New Yorker (somebody buy me a subscription! :D)

13. Are you a drinker?> nope

14. How much money will you bring when you are out?> a little under 500. I hardly bring the big guns unless needed.

15. Car, diamond or money?> show me the money.

16. What phone are you using now?> Windows Smartphone. No, it's not Amazing after all.

17. Coffeebean or starbucks?> Neither. I prefer Gloria Jean's. :D

18. Where do you stay?> wherever, but often in my room.

19. What is your favourite food?> I'm crazy about lasanga and pizza. And I could use some right now.

20. Chocolate, Sweets or cake?> not as cake. better on its own.

21. Can your ears move?> a bit, yeah. :D

22. Do you dye your hair?> no, I don't. I love black too much. :)

23. What languages do you speak?> Filipino, English, both quite fluently.

24. How many phones in your house?> two lines, one of them with an extension.

25. How many toilets??> 5. :)

26. When you are doing your business in thetoilet , what do you do?> I read books. Often whatever I'm carrying.

27. Do you swim?> yeah, I can swim. not regularly anymore though.

28. Do you gamble?> haven't done that in a while!:D

29. What are your favourite sports?> basketball, soccer, chess, tennis, pool, archery

30. Love, techno or classical?> senti na lang...

31. What is your favourite drink?> Four Seasons juice.

32. What is your temper?> intense. yeah, that says it.

33. What kind of person are you?> uncompromising, but considerate.

34. What would you wear when you go to bed?> shorts, and a shirt. Sometimes I wear a sando. Sometimes I'm still wearing my wristwatch or wrist bands.

35. What is the 1st thing to do when you wakeup?> I check for the time.

36. Do you eat breakfast?> of course. almost twice a day. :D

37. Favourite tv shows?> queer eye, tonight show with jay leno, late night with conan o'brien, rocko's modern life, Mad About You.

38. Who do you want to meet?> the three T's: Thierry Henry, Tracy McGrady, Tupac Shakur

39. Where do you like to go?> I wanna go to the Bahamas. Just once.

40. When is your birthday?> january 6, 1984

41. Do you buy branded goods?> ba't naman hindi??

42. How many hours do you spend talking on thephone?> quota ko is one hour. anything less means it's either work-related (where I try to keep things efficient) or the phone's either tapped or on a leash.

43. If a guy or a lady want to know you as a friend, would you give your number to them?> well, why not? phone conversations help strengthen anything.

44. Do you watch romantic movies?> oo naman. but not that frequently. just when it works.

45.Do u watch Filipino movie?> not really, no. Just when people say it's good.

If anybody will see me within the next few days or weeks, kindly understand.

I've not been completely healthy.

Yes, yes, I am aware I'm overweight and I breathe heavy after long walks. I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about the respiratory system infection I've been struggling against for the past few months.

I'm happy to say that coughing has died down. I'm still taking medications, but at least the steriod use (to loosen my lungs) won't be necessary anymore.

I still don't know how to deal with the ruptured artery in my right eye. It's nothing serious, really. It just gives it a red streak where white should be. I doubt it's contagious (Dad says it's caused by forceful coughing) so I don't need to wear sunglasses everywhere.

I've spent the first two days of Christmas break here at home. I spend half of the day hours asleep, the other using a PC. I either play games or write like I'm doing as of this moment. Then, I try to catch some sports on television, be it soccer or basketball.

I'm in the midst of directing another piece, and I'm looking for a script. Hopefully, the two people who pledged their support shortly after I directed my first piece will still be around to do the next.

Any "hard-core" literary work will have to wait awhile. I'm still busy reading things to consider creating anything new just yet.

I also hope you will all bear with this blog for a moment while I try to re-post the links I had. This is particularly for the case of my once-regular visitors and visitees. I miss bloghopping between my site and yours, so understand please. If you leave me a URL of your blog, I shall endeavour to pop a link for it as soon as possible.

For now, I wish you all a Merry Christmas, and good health. hehehe.

I just had to notice it on NBA.com...

VINCE CARTER IS NOW WITH THE NETS!!

current music: Ghost - Indigo Girls

Oo na, oo na. Alam ko na hindi naman ako nagpo-post dito. At oo, mayroon ding duda kung nagsusulat ako.

Kung ako'y ikaw, huwag na kayong mangangamba kung gumagaling ako sa aking sining o hindi. Ako lamang amg may tanging responsibilidad sa aking sarili. Huwag na akong mangangamba.

Sa ngayon, kakatapos lang namin ni Irene sa aming proyekto sa Directing I. Langya, naka-A ako!

At para makamit ko ang markang iyon, kinailangan kong sumuko ng oras para ipagbuti ang ginagawa naming dalawa. Hay 'naku.


----

Sa ngayon din, susubukan kong palitan ang sapin nitong blog na 'to. Sayang naman, at sa kay tagal kong hindi lumilikha ng mga bagay dito, hindi ko namalayang marami rin palang naglagay ng pangalan ko sa kanilang sariling blog. Kay sayang naman sa kanila kung hindi ko ito gagamitin.

So ayun. Ang puti kong kama'y wari kailangan nang palitan ang mga sapin, at mga pambalot sa mga unan.

Ngunit, hindi pa ako tapos sa aking pag-lilinis sa kwarto, kaya ang kama kong ito'y maghihintay muna.

[Don't you just hate how posts disappear after you write them?]

Monix is promoting to me replica Ateneo basektball jerseys of Ateneo legends. P795 a shirt worn by the likes of Vince Hizon, Ritchie Ticzon, et al.

Eagles of Hope Bazaar at November 27-28. If you happen to see "a crazy woman promoting the jerseys," si Monix yun. :D

Damn, these are the days I wish I had a gun so I could rob a bank.

=======

A lot's happened over the last time I visited:
1.) an A-Days staffing weekend.
2.) entry into Javie's Lighthouse group
3.) a dry spell in my writing
4.) more drama
5.) a fight that hasn't ended yet.
6.) the end of the 1st semseter, me walking away with a 2.9 average (hindi man lang 3.0?!?)

And I'll be fine. Yes, I will.

==========

Why haven't I posted here? Becaus obviously, I've not had the time to fix the template.

I know! Maybe I can get a new layout! :D

Anybody, please help. :D email at heaven.spawn@gmail.com

You are the pilot.


Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla



arguably the best test i've taken in a long time. heck, maybe the best test I've taken ever.

If you must notice, this blog is broken. Something's terribly wrong with the lay-out, and until I get a (fixed) copy of it from my PC downstairs, kindly refrain from reading it.

Moral of the story: back-up your blog templates.

Will be back.

current music: Theme song from One Tree Hill. ooh yeah. (will put link to OTH site here soon)

Today was used up:

1.) attending Philo and Theo, two favorite classes of mine (kasi medyo mataas-taas grades ko dyan. ehehehe.)

2.) Waiting for Javie and Rap to finish their critique of "Darkroom"

3.) Talking to Den, who was sick, and trying to cheer her up. Did it work? I don't think so, because when you're sick, no amount of "It's gonna be okay"'s will really cure you, right?

4.) Recieving a critique from Mel, Martin, Javie and Rap. Shet.

Know what? I'm starting to think I'm not a "born writer" after all. Especially today, when my eyes were rubbed and the dirt removed, and I realized I write "rhythm, rhyme, music, nonesense and poor logic" (which is still important in art, either way).

5.) Tambay over lunch (cheese sauce pasta + four seasons juice + donuts = picks me up anytime). Cracked jokes across the board. Fun fun fun.

6.) Talking to Mel with Julian to try cheer her up from her tiff with Martin. Wahahaha. I should be named "Unofficial Pubroom Therapist"

7.) Waited for my brother, who took the car while I wasn't looking, to go back to Ateneo and pick me up. Hehe. Funny.

8.) Play FIFA. malamang. La viv Real Madrid baby. And Arsenal pa rin ako. Thierry Henry (French name pronounced Han-REE) is a rock star.

9.) Nanood ng Season Finale of "One Tree Hill" after dinner. All the more I loved that show, after seeing its first season end.

Ganda-ganda ng nangyari kay Nathan at Lucas: fighting half-brothers worls apart making peace in ways unheard of in MY OWN HOUSEHOLD? Naisip ko: ba't wala akong natural born siblings like that, when this dude has a half-brother who loves him to bits? Shet.Can that happen in my household? I don't know. I'm skeptical.

current music: na LSS ako sa "Masaya" ni Bamboo!

I'm in bad need of a new addiction, SO I'm thinking of taking a walk to "Mr. Pirata's Pirated Video Game Store Along Katipunan" and buy Spinter Cell 2: Pandora Tomorrow today!

Or I'll just sit here and try to figure out what to do with that darn library book.

Anybody know where I can find Pablo Neruda's "The Captain's Verses"?

(no, Ebay is out of the question. I need it as soon as possbile)

Oh yeah, I wrote something new. I'll post it soon.

I'm watching "About A Boy" all over again on Star Movies. Good way of getting rid of some weird comings and goings in my head.

Fascinating how the script is so smartly written! Particularly when the main character Will, falls in love (really falls in love) and explains what's it really like. Hehehe.

Watching a film like this makes me think: where shall I take my masters? In New York or London? I've been pining for the Big Apple since I was a boy, but man... I can't quite say No to a, shall we say, "more civilised" people. hehehe.

Know what? The funny things about Doc Garcia's Philo class are:

1.) I tend to be his "favorite" in getting candid responses for his funky questions. Seriously! He asked "what happens to a person who falls in love? How do you know?" and queried one dude. He didn't get the answer he wanted, so went straight to me! ahahaha! (No, I can't remember what I said as response.)

2.) His style of teaching Philo is that something like a world class soccer striker: get the ball, and shoot and shoot and shoot. Once he starts talking, he'll go on and on and on. Sometimes, he'll mention something fantastic, and then he'll miss over and over, and then he'll hit on a different insight that uplifts. It can get tiring, but it's nice.

3.) Whenever he talks about "intersubjectivity", or "solitude and being alone as distinct" and stuff like that, I can't help but feel so isolated. And it haunts in ways worse and more powerfully than Julian's choices of music (which are more often than not, darn catchy ditties).

"The artist, the painter, the future lawyer, the basketball player all at one point, need to sacrifice time with others, but in effect, can be more expressive of their selves."

Wala lang. I'm averaging close to a C+ in his class, but it's rapidly my second favorite subject after Sir Yuson's class.

I'm not sure if I've either spent too much time away, not spending enough time or effort with others, or that other's just can't see me. I like being on my own whenever I can, but I hate being left alone. And for the most part, that's been essentially my story for all this month.

------------

Paper is due tomorrow. Wow.

Will be offline for a large portion of the time, then back online again. Go figure.Tomorrow, I'm slated to watch UP Streetdance peroform at UP Theater, and an hour or so prior to that it'll be spent at UP, for the book launch of "Love's a Vice", a set of translations of Mike Bigournia's poetry.

------------

Last night at Aria was lots of fun! It's a shame I had to leave after Sir Larry's poem. Talagang pinilit ko lang ang sarili kong panoorin sina Sir Larry at Sir Allan. I know I missed Waps sing, and I'll never forgive myself if I missed Ma'am Beni or Kael Co read their works too. (noo! nakita ko si Kael non! please, Jess, please sana di ko nalampasan yun!) I'm glad however, I did NOT miss Waps, Sir Egay nor Naya read their works.

NAYA VALDELLEON IS THE GODDESS OF POETRY! ALL HEATHENS SHALL HEAR HER GLORIOUS WORKS AND DESPAIR!

Kung may "teardrops" na expression sina Monix, dito naman ang bunganga ko ang nanlaglag nang narining ko ang kanyang mga salita! Hotness! She's the best!

I guess it was the texts for me to return home that got me running. That, and the idea of resting at long last after a much-missed hot meal. I was already tired and hungry too, and the people I hoped to hang out with had other company, so fine. I just went home on my own, albeit early. It's really just like that.

I'm still hanging on to what Ma'am Beni said: "Na isang araw babasahin din ang mga salita mo at papalakpakan!" Haay. Ma'am Beni, sana hindi ko masasayang ang tiwala ninyo sa akin.

...

Now time for a glass of water.

The universe is not cooperating with me today. The car is color-coded so I can't leave school until past 7. Ordinarily, Roel is supposed to take public transportation home, but as I type this he's in McDonald's asking me to drive him home. This puts my sched out of whack! I'm slated to attend the Aria readings (which will start shortly) in dela Costa, and that'll take maybe all evening!

And then, I'm further rattled with Julian's Mom texting me to go to RSF. I just got the message a few minutes ago asking me to go to RSF "in 5 mins" which was dated whole three hours ago! Shit!

Ngarag talaga, punyemas. Kung sana lang may initiative si Roel umuwi ng mag-isa (dahil Wednesday naman eh), kung hindi lang nag-lag ang Smart sa text na pinadala ni Tita Tinna, kung sana lang hindi lahat ito nangyari habang ako'y nagre-research para sa paper ko due sa Friday!!!

Shit shit shit.

I'm losing interest in Monopoly Tycoon. Hehehe. I fed my addiction so much I've lost interest in it already. I need to get into something new. Something to use my time with (apart from literature, reading, study and the like). That, or I need a new book again.

======

Me and my mom went and covered books in plastic. The two of us sort of bonding, while cutting plastic and taping them around the book covers. I think my folks approve of the fact that I'm reading so much again, after so long. They've always thought all I did was play on the PC (which they always see me do whenever they arrive home), so reading is a good thing.

It was there I realized how large my reading list is today. Check:
"Skin, Voices, Faces" - Danton Remoto
"Promising Lights" - D.M. Reyes
"Buena Vista Ventures" - Alfredo Salanga
"Father Poems" - collection, edited by Sir Krip and Jimmy Abad
"100 Love Poems: Philippine Love Poetry Since 1900" - collection, also edited by Sir Krip and Jimmy Abad. bias kasi teacher ko si Krip. hehe.]
"The Nymph of MTV" - Angelo Suarez
"Salvaged Poems" - Eman Lacaba [a favorite of mine now]
"Alipato" - Ma'am Beni Santos [another rakstar favorite book. bias kasi mentor. hehe.]
"The Time Machine" - H.G. Wells [almost lost this book, found it at last]
"Letters to a Young Poet" - Rainer Maria Rilke [re-reading this.]

and there was one more, but I can't remember it. I think I also gave a cover to the new Senior's Folio of Heights, para masabi na sa akin talaga siya. hehehe.

Yes, it's a large list, but trust me, they're all relatively short books. :p And the cool thing about a book of poems is that you'll never get tired of them. That's because nobody reads a book of poems from cover to cover (unless you're like some people I know). I open the book, and read what I see, then move on. I'll stop when I'm done with one, think it over, then read another. It's like a box of pizza: you don't need a "left to right" system to pick the slice you want.

There are also 4 library books to my name:
"Los Versos del Capitan (The Captain's Verses)" - Pablo Neruda
"The New Poetry" - a collection of modern works from British writers and people who lived in Britain, published in the 1950's, so they's Anne Sexton, Sylvia Plath, and others I'm not familiar with because they're British.
"Poetics" - Aristotle
"The Art of Poetry" - Valery

I don't remember who the translators are. The books are downstairs. I'll return them by Monday, in order to make way for "real academics".

If you don't approve of anthing in my collection of reading material, please comment FAST. I don't know if what I'm reading right now is good (except for Gelo Suarez's work, which I'm not that fond of, now that I've re-read it a few times].

Gack. I'm reverting to my 6-8 year-old self, the fat kid who kept his nose in books all day. :( Only this time, I'm reading "real" literature instead of Biology books and Choose-Your-Own-Adventures.

But I gotta do this again, if I wanna be good at what I do.

=======

By the way, my brother's playing in Conspiracy (the new bar along Visayas Ave) tonight. I hear he's fronting for Cynthia Alexander or something. I'll head there later to see. Mga 10 PM pa naman daw, so I'll leave later. Nood din kayo, kung wala rin kayong gagawin. Wish him luck.

current music: Masaya - Bamboo

Today is Wednesday. The car is stuck in Ateneo until 7 PM and my classes end at 4:30 PM. And I drive for Roel to school early in the morning.

So this Wednesday, I decided that it shall be my "recharge" day. I believe I needed this because, well, I've got a number of projects, papers and long test on queue this coming week.

Thus, I trooped to Hobby Stop this morning and played some FIFA. They didn't have FIFA 2004, so I settled for FIFA '02 (Seaman was still Arseneal's goalie then) and this Japanese version of FIFA called "Total Football". It was fun, either way.

I'm also at the Internet Cafe (next to Blueskies) and blogging, while having lunch. Yes, I am, as one girl from my past put it, "wasting money". I've spent more than my quota, true, but I feel it's high time I relax in ways I've not done in a while. And besides, I was able to attend my class and return to the PS2 afterwards.

Speaking of classes, I attended today a lecture by Fr. Nebres. That guy's good. He's also pretty cool, albeit in a "geeky sort of way". You know, he exhudes his brilliant mind, but doesn't "dumb down" his speech, his vocab or whatever to compromise his smarts. That to me is always good, but, well... you won't win everybody over (and thus, some of us in the audience were bored, but didn't dare sleep in the presence of the University President).

Up next: some "chill" time in the library, a class at 3:30, Philosophy readings for tomorrow, and maybe some TV or Monopoly Tycoon. All not in that order, of course.

------------------

Ominous Sign of the Day:

Daily Overview for September 15, 2004
Provided by Astrology.com
Daily Extended Forecast

Quickie:
Today will be like a milkshake: thick and slow-moving, but ultimately tasty.

Overview:
You've been thinking about someone who's been missing from your life for far too long, and wondering what to do about it. Stop wondering and start dialing. You could be sharing stories before you know it.

Surprisingly, the first one's already becoming true. Now for the second... damn. Ayoko pa.

If you know why I keep my secrets, woman, you'd never want to speak to me again.

EDIT: I did not end up going to the library nor to my FA class as planned due to inclement weather. In short, I got rained in soaking wet. I'm trying to dry off in this air-conditioned lab.

I can't help but feel sentimental whenever it rains. I don't know. I really could use someone to talk freely to.

I realized last night that my grades today are bad because they won't make the Dean's List. Bitin pa ng konti.

(GOD it feels good to say that!)

But yes. For once, I'll agree with my Mom and Dad that I'm underachieving, particularly because my teachers are supposed to be the "good ones" who lecture well and are a "soft touch on grades" (as one of them puts it). With the semester more than halfway done, I don't agree they're all easy. But I concur with friends that they're good lecturers.

And yes. I'm happy I'm no longer failing. Shifting out of a course you don't like CHANGES EVERYTHING, especially your perception of your "work" as a whole.

I won't lie: I like a lot of what I'm learning. It just doesn't show on my papers and quizzes that I'm learning anything at all. :p

Maybe I can start there.

But yes. I want to make the DL. If not, I'll have to take that 5th year. And I don't necessarily want that. (although it'd be cool. hehe.)

current music: Wala, pero nasa isip ko pa rin ang "99 Problems"

I still wish Jay-Z won Best Video. It's the only Jay-Z song I really liked. But fine, mas boto ko naman ang Outkast.

Although I play 99 Problems more often now. Perfect stress relief, especially with the loud guitars blasting with rage. Sarap.

For once, my blogger is working. I've been quiet for the past few days. I hated it. I can't quite put anything decent on, primarily because the cookie settings of Blogger don't allow me that much freedom to keep writing and writing over long periods of time.

In any case, I'm still going to write; just not here as much as I used to (which clocked at least eight posts a week, skipping one day). Now, I'm more often found at my Livejournal account, but even that one I don't keep as much. Those who know it, please keep it a secret.

Meantimes, I've got an hour before the A-Days meeting starts. I've got to get lunch, and maybe sneak in some library time to look for good books. (Books are pretty expensive these days, no?)

-----------

Di na magiging participant si Tine. Tsk.

-----------

One thing I HATE doing: I hate admitting I'm "a struggling writer". Struggle to get things to be good, yeah, I guess I'm that. But I know when and where I can define struggle. I've really drowned myself in my inabillities from the span of 4th year high and throughout 2nd year. YON ang struggle: walang maisulat, walang matinong maisip, and yet people still remember you as having a desire (and maybe, just maybe a gift) with the pen.

I hated those days, and I fear they're coming back.

I'm learning, yes. I fancy myself as a fast learner. But no matter how fast I think I learn, I've still got A LOOOOONG way to go.

And it doesn't help that I'm always forced to do things on my own. Since birth, and with the exception of some anomalies here and there, I've had to shoulder, solider on. I hate it.

-----------

I'm still kind of upset, and I can't get it out via catharsis. I don't understand, but I don't think I'll need to. I'm just going to try live with it, and put the long-term hopes out of my mind for a while.

I'll still force myself to put down words, but I guess I won't need to be in such a hurry to get the good right away. Slowly, maybe, is what I should go for. I've got much to learn, much to live anyway.

(It's just that when you're overweight and prone to disease and lives in a family of cancer, diabetes, asthma among other things, you can't help but you won't live very long, no matter how hard you work our, no matter how hard you try.)

Maybe shutting myself out with work is all I need. Yeah. Work. Lots and lots of it.

current music: Pieces of Me - Ashlee Simpson

I wrote a long post, and it all vanished. Stupid, stupid internet.

Will re-try later.

"Stone, Papyrus, Clay"

Of what happened to the records,
those giant black discs left behind
by my grandfather after the stroke,

I don't know. I'm led to believe
a needle will pierce in vain
clots in the main arterial

groove that allows the system
grainy tunes from these spinning
raven circles of song. I sigh;

we hadn't copied the lost treasures to tapes,
and in turn, CD's and MP3's.
I thus settle for television, MTV's of black men

confessing sins to girlfriends about
illicit children. Their pulpit rhymes
leave my mind, but shall cloister

in plastic discs, microchips, tapes,
'till its descendants come
(online). Our grandchildren

shall think us starved
for skin that flickers
on-screen. Would they know that

as they'll tend to my deathbed
they'll search my music,
convert my wealth

to whatever currency, translation
is left to civilization?
I sit, write, remember

how Lolo would tell me (music playing in the back)
of Him whose golden legacy
was to compose an invisible kingdon:

laws in stone,
words on papyrus
followers of clay.

------------

(in case you saw this today, I edited it)
'ika nga ni Waps, beat poetry daw. yeeeey. :)
DISCLAIMER: di pa siya tapos!!

The sooner you read this, the longer we'll stay friends, whoever you are.

Reading the Inquirer and seeing Sir Egay, Naya and Aste, I realize it'd be beautiful to be recognized for my literary work. But I do keep in mind it's not why I write.

Why do I write? The magic of my career path is simple: I GET TO BE NOBODY BUT ME.

In Philo we asked ourselves, if I peeled away all the other things... my being a son, being a kuya, being a Dayzer or LnK'er or Atenean, who am I? It's the challenge I face and relish in literature.

I am simply myself. I speak what's on my mind, I say what I think, I write what I want, I do what I do on my terms. I know what's right and wrong, and I do what my heart tells me is right. You can say what you want, and I'll listen and take it into consideration, but my decisions are still my decisions.

If anybody's threatened by it, I won't apologize. I've done no harm to anyone by being myself. In fact, fuck you if you're not open enough to understand.

current music: Ecerybody Hurts - R.E.M.


Today was okay. But first, thank you to the people who wished me luck for my Philo Orals today.

And for the most part, I was surprised. I spent the last two days doing my usual routines, with the addition of extra hours reading the text. I started committing to memory things like the difference between Marcel and Descartes' ideas of the human self, or how Marcel believes human life is centered in something other than himself. (side note: the latter is something I believe very, very deeply in)

Right as I entered the room, it was somewhat "friendly", then switched straight to "ice cold". :p Isip ko agad "showtime!"

Then Sir goes fastball: "What's the difference between Primary and Secondary reflection?"

Patay! Mahirap agad!

But i think i answered it well enough, as I did with the rest of the orals. I was very nervous... like a guy on a courtroom stand. But I think I did okay. A B or B+ worth.

Frustrations: I missed a Lighthouse session yesterday, I've got the Intro to the Theo report to do (on sex scandals in the church) and a Sci10 Paper I've not started on. Shet shet shet.

I'm also somewhat annoyed (like always) of people who I take time out to really look after, really listen, keep secrets and empathize for, but can never ever do the same when it all comes down to it.

Guess what. I think I'm supposed to be all on my own.

Re-evaluation time. I have spent more money this week than I have for the whole month of July. And to think it all because of what's happened since July.

Last Monday I bought Eman Lacaba's "Salvaged Poems". In my opinion, anybody who's seriously trying to write should read Lacaba. Pete's also good, but I wanted to start with Eman and study how he thinks.
Price: 300 pesos

| also bought Ma'am Beni's book, "Alipato". Real darn good stuff. Tama nga si Ma'am Beni: feminists, and women writers as a whole do not write the same way men do, and reading Ma'am Beni's work right next to Lacaba proves this right away.
Price: 100 pesos.


Anyway, I got to chat with Ma'am Beni last Monday. She told me that I should read, read, read. If I read enough, I wouldn't need her as a mentor. (A subtle way of saying she can't help me unless I help myself). I did, however, make good of the time and asked her stuff I couldn't at the workshop: how prose poetry works, what are good ways of editing, etc. Not a bad price for a swell afternoon, but I wish I hadn't. I will, however, visit her again when I've written something of substance for her to see. (2 weeks from now, maybe. and she did offer to show me Mary Oliver's works too.)
Afternoon w/ Ma'am Beni: Priceless.

But anyway, on with the list.

Bought a magazine. Erm...
Price: 150 pesos.

Bought Cy's ticket to a concert on Friday evening. I can't go. So I'm buying just to help him out. Hahaha. But the price wasn't that much of a laughing matter. I think I'll try to go anyway, but it doesn't look all that good.
Price: 200 pesos.

3 lunches each worth approximately 80 pesos = 240 pesos.

a diskette worth: 17 pesos.

A ballpen at the ORP worth: 25 pesos.

A birthday card: 20 pesos.

Buti na lang my brother treated me to a cheeseburger last Monday also. (heck, now I realize it: monday was actually a fantastic day!) He said he's been borrowing money from me for a while (primarily rides home from UAAP games), so it might all add up to a burger. He did, however, end up borrowing ten pesos. Haay. Some things don't change. :p
Price: 10 pesos, and some gas. but it's worth it.

Speaking of gas, my car is running low!! Arrrgh. Good thing Mom and Dad reimburse ny gasoline expenses, but still. Bulsa ko ang nauuna, and sometimes they'll not be able to pay right away.

This morning I closed my bank account with Landbank, withdrawing all 618.33 pesos of my "emergency money". It was originally 1000 pesos, but I got a letter that I hadn't been using it for a while, and they deduct money from dormant accounts like mine. That letter I got two weeks ago. It was addressed two months ago (or so), so they took a certain amount of money from it already. Drat drat drat.

Moral of the story: don't open an account if you can't keep it running. I'm also now down to a scant 100 or so pesos. :( Must save, save, save.

Asus! Wala pa pala akong staffer's fee! next week, next week, next week...

Will stay in school 'till 7 PM though. Color-coding scheme can't let me leave early.

current music:

Mulieris invites you to "HIGH HEELS AND MINISKIRTS: (FASHION. PERCEPTION. POLITICS.)" Sept 6 (Mon) 430-6 pm at SEC LEC 3. Come and share your opinion about this controversial issue with us.

Ayan. From Rache. Punta kayo. I wanna be there, ya know. :)

Now that's out of the way.

-----------------

I'm NOT posting what I've just written for once. Why? Because it's a gift for somebody. You'll see. No wait. Better not.

Meantime, I'm wondering wher my brother's gone off to. It's 9 PM, and I'm watching One Tree Hill. My brother had the car, and his class ends at 4:30. He's not at home. Nang-gimik kaya?

Today I got 55/70 in my Theology long exam. A first, because for once, the Theo test wasn't "rated" in the 1-4 scale. Now, I had to finally use the long-lost Math skills to do some work. Haay.

One Tree Hill is so much fun. :)

---------------

If you were there for everyone who needed you, but nobody was there when you needed them, what does that make you?

current music: Confessions part 2 - Usher

Ateneans are arrogant. Yes. I've heard that literally thousands of times before.

I, however, believe it's not all about the arrogance that people hate.

What really, really disturbs them, in my little opinion, is that they're disturbed by the challege we pose to everyone else:

Love your school. Be proud of your roots.

Everybody needs to learn this little adage. Especially here in the Philippines.

Heck, even I need to learn this thing. I'm still not happy with high school. :p ehehehe

In any case, I'm elated that we won today in grand fashion.

McDonald's Katipunan has suddenly become one of my favorite places on the planet.

Today, at the summons of "Prime Minister" Debbi Baybay, I drove to Katipunan with Christine to go to McDo. There was supposed to be an "LnK thing" that day. So fine. I dropped her off when we saw Big Pao, I drove back to Ateneo and parked there for free, then I walked back. Upon arrival, I note there were only 4 of them: Chimoms, Perry, Big Pao, RaPao... Yun lang! Waah.

So fine. We chill. At one point, I realize I left my phone in the car, and hike back across Katipunan to retrieve it. I did note Missy lounging at the Shakey's smoking area with friends, and exchanged greetings.

Carla, Kat, Honeypie and Chreesy catch up with us. The stories continue. Apparently, something happened the day before that Carla wasn't quite telling me. Must ask Sanndra. Okay, good that she's learning the finer points of being "secret-keeper". Yey.

As they left, it was down to me, RaPao and Chimoms, sharing stories over McDonald's French fries and apple pie. Sharing stories about high school memories. Wehehehe. It's something, considering that these two are now high school seniors and the "seniors' syndrome" has probably started kicking in.

More notable faces emerge: best friend James and his girlfriend Hannah pop themselves on the table nearby, and at this point, I start to dominate the discussions, in a sort of Jay Leno/David Letterman type way. And I must say, it's really fun! Especially since James had his own share of, erm, "ammunition" to play with when we were sort of exchanging funny anecdotes on each other.

Probably the main reason he's my best friend: we can chat so openly with each other, in front of everybody else, and not care what others think, and I mean, really not care. I was already cracking jokes in a voice loud enough for more than half the restaurant to hear, and we were just having a good laugh. And to top it off: it was me doing most of the "slinging"; he hardly ever brought up anything "damaging" to me, but I was the one who called up the old "James looks like Tarzan" joke again.

I'd go on rattle more people I saw there, but it'd be needless name-dropping. Haha.

The evening closed out with Chimoms and me playing FIFA, and then catching up with brother Roel at KFC with donuts. Wehehehe. A good day all in all.

Oh yeah, somebody remind me that my advisement is at September 17, 8:30.

And please pray for my brother. He wants to join MTV Supahstar. Wow.

Kung sino man diyan gustong maging participant sa Days, kindly tell me ASAP. :) And I know there are those who read this blog and want to be participants. :)

Meeting kasi bukas. Of course I'll be there. That is, unless something big comes up again, which is unlikely.

==============

Guess what? Nagkapasok na rin!

Which stinks, because I stood up last night with a splitting headache. I think it's because of my eyes. It's been around a year and three months since I lost my glasses, and we haven't had them replaced. I take it's a first in another long run of migranes.

And this keyboard at RSF is giving me migranes. Arrrgh! I want to smash it to the ground so the keys will work right!!!

Anyway, I should only feel so lucky. At least it's not raining and it's not gonna make me sick or anything anymore. I'm also starting to miss some of my pretty classmatesand I suppose class is a good way to get back in the groove of things. I already felt some positive effects of walking around campus again, and I got to stretch my atrophied legs. If the sun wasn't out, I might even have broken into a jog. Hehe. It's a good day so far. Not a lot of work, just enough.

Will drive my brother home later. I also have to talk to my folks who haven't given me allowance (due to the rain, one more reason it's good there's school).

==============

Later tonight, it's an "LnK Thing" they summoned us to. McDo Katips as usual. Hmm. May be worth a shot looking into. Pero ewan. Sinabi lang sa akin ni Carla noong Tuesday, and baka late daw siya. Looks like I better save up my money so I could chill later; no more Starbucks coffee binges for me. Hehe.

Come to think of it, there was one day na sobra akong nagutom at ngarag kasi flat broke ako: Last Monday when I had to spend cash to finish a project! And it wouldn't have happened if I didn't spend for Starbucks coffee. Grrr...

And I wouldn't have had to spend if that gift certificate didn't get stolen/lost. Oh well.

===============

4 Mel: I'm really sorry. I can't make it to Ria C.'s despedida. Not only is it late, your place is *kinda* far from my house. :( Please send her my warmest, most heartfelt regards. (Oo, love ko mga co-fellows ko, pero mahirap na 'to mhen.)

current music: wala

Which is what I don't like about the fact that the Internet access has moved from the den (my adopted room) into Mom and Dad's room here. Sure, the fact that viruses have plagued the one downstairs has something to do with it, but still. It just darn stinks that I can no longer play music when I type, since Mom deleted them all from this PC. I also can't find my Sugarfree CD. Drat drat drat.

But I am grateful that:
1.) my *new* fave football team, Arsenal, have been undefeated for a record 43 straight games. Yey!
2.) No classes again today and all my deadlines are done (save 2 papers due next month.) Wheee!

Now for not-so-nice stuff. It's days like this when I find myself eating and sitting around too much. Crap. As if eating and sitting around were things I've not had enough of in my lifetime. It's days like these I remmber Neruda's "Walking Around", and I feel myself becoming a root buried in the wet ground more and more.

My head hurts, and so does my torso. I'm losing certainty why my stomach hurts, whether I've overeaten, or am thirsty, or need to puke. I can't lie down to sleep, as I find my bed too uninviting: I've spent a grand total of 12 hours asleep last nigt. Yep. No joke.

And it's too rainy to get out and play basketball. And I've acquired a distaste for jogging.

Maybe if I had an iPod, I'd really learn to like hitting the road and running. Yeah. The lack of music is my main gripe. That, and the chaos it wreaks on my already battered feet. But yeah. Sounds are all that's keeping me.

I now have mixed feeling on whether or not I want to have classes tomorrow. It is, after all, a Friday, and that means I have to drive for my brother. It also means Lighthouse day. A bad thing and a good thing. Hmm.

Maybe I ought to stop musing about tomorrow, and actually prepare for it by reading and charging my phone. Bahala na si Batman sa advisement at ulan.

current music: Jazzy Monday - Artstrong on MTV

My LJ is down, so I'm doing my first post of the day here for a change.

Anybody know the movie "The New Guy"? I watched that on HBO last night. I rediscovered how much I loved that film and how I'm challenged to do good like the main hero did. Hehehe.

Yes, yes. I did not go to school today in spite of there being classes. Primary reason was because the heavy rains and resultant traffic deterred Dad, Roel and myself from getting to school. It was reminiscent of the afternoon Julian and I got lost looking for a shortcut amid the rain and the traffic. Back then, Katipunan road turned into a veritable parking lot. Today was no different.

I wonder what they did in class...

--------------

Meantime, I'm chilling at home. Dad offered me to go to the gym for a while, but I declined. I just want to sleep, sleep, sleep. I'm watching MTV and Entertainment Tonight here to chill my head.

Darn. Sarah Meier is so cute. Hehe. But then again, I'm half-wishing I get to catch Bellefire on TV again. Those girls are hot too.

---------------

Speaking of girls, I found a long-lost notebook of poems from way back in high school. Therein, I found somebody's telephone number I had thought I lost.

Yes, if you've been following my posts regularly, you'd know she's a major influence in my poetry. I don't know if my time in Heights and the Heights Workshop has purged that influence and I'm unsure whether or not that's important.

There are memories that keep coming back. With them comes attached a sense of foreboding.
After all, the nature of our friendship was that of listening to her problems with me worrying my heart out for her. A prelude to my current "girls' emotional punching bag" profession, if you will.

The quickest way you can make me give a rat's ass about you is to make me worry about you. The more sleep I lose thinking about you, the more I learn to care. It so happened that this little angel was all that (think "scary, at times pessimisstic thoughts running through her head" ). Not only was there this emotional attachment, I found it amazing that she was smart, sweet and really pretty (for a poet hehehe). After all, I knew many in the high school student body had the hots for her, and it didn't hurt she helped me write, either.

To think that many things I presently am can offshoot from things she's told me would be melodramatic. I'll just say she's an influence, a very powerful one at that.

I still care about her, and I miss her dearly, but am unwilling to make any calls to her house anytime soon. Why? It's complicated. There's a question in Tagalog I hate, hate hearing but it's what I have to ask now: "Ano ba gusto kong mangyari?" What do I want to happen with calling her? Get back in touch? I may care profoundly about her, but I'm not what she needs.

Besides, I often find there's litte good in repairing a broken past when there's a hope for the future right in front of me. There's Days, there's my (hopeful) literary career, there's a shot at taking my MA abroad, there's my family, there's Kuya Jess, there's my friends and so many blessings.

-----------------

Speaking of which, I'm writing something for a very dear friend (also unbelievably blessed) , hopefully to be finished by next week.

Won't elaborate further, because I never know. I won't post that poem until further notice.

Dad's Violin (version 2)

The stern brown leather started to peel
from the heavy, wrinkling violin case.
The latches rusted, and sqeaked
at my prying fingers.

Dad seldom brought it out anymore,
and did so only on special occasions:
his friends entreating his pleasure for playing,
my kid brother's birthday bash

or Mom's much-missed anniversary.
Any other day, he'd be away, locked
inside the master's bedroom,
asleep in lazy afternoons.

To this day, a tinny, tiny squeal
escapes the violin when I thumb
my frustrated fingers in attempting to play,
regressing myself to a nine-year-old, frustrated me

(who found it much more pleasureable to watch TV,
play video games, or read books
instead of practicing and inevitably
facing Dad's scorn for my scorn for discipline).

Days like these I'd wake the violin from its green bed
and I'd see them: cracks from when Dad
gashed it on the grouchy ground,
disgruntled at his own father's trite tutelage.

There are bruises in the brown, oft-cheerful face,
scratches at its shoulders, scars where there was tape
to mark the places I also placed my once-darkening digits,
memorizing them with practiced misery I could ill-afford.

He'd play the violin once in a weary blue-moon weekday,
and I'd hear: the low, bassy notes, a husky voice
whispering. Dad would be right by himself, dancing secret steps
I'd never understand nor inherit.

I'd hear, until Dad's song inevitably
reaches its long, continuing, solitary note,
and then a final rest, before the silence
to be played on an unmoving heart-line.

current music: jazz played in the cafe

Somehow, I think gremlins are jinxing my days. I watch the game and scream myself hoarse while Ateneo gets bullied by La Salle, somebody uses up all the Nesquick at home (well, most of it really), I've got a project due today that I'm too lazy to start, I watch Team USA get punked by a bleach-haired shooter from Lithuania, I get left behind by my brother when he left for school, I lost my 100 peso Starbucks gift certificate my grandmother gave me, and my computer is STILL broken.

Galing no?

And somehow, I'm not too hot on appearing in that class. Kaklase ko pa man din si Chris Tiu. (and we all know what happened to him and how he missed the critical go-ahead open lay-up. hehehehe.)

And yet... I dunno. I'm not that angry.

No, I'm still livid at the Lasallites who went on to chant their "Burn Ateneans, Burn!" song when they won. (buti na lang wala akong shotgun.). No, I'm pissed off at my slave-driver for a teacher, and for the corporation who sent that virus to plague my computer. I'm angry at that, but not as heavily as I think I should be.

And I think it's because I stood up late last night watching the football (or soccer to you other heathens) match between Arseneal and Middlesbrough. My *new* favorite team in all of football, Arseneal clumped them 5-3!

And it was the most amazing display I ever did see! Imagine! A team coming back from 3-1 down to win it 5-3! Amazing!

Leaning on my bed at 2 AM this morning, I realized that the teams I really love watching are the ones like that: running purely on hustle and heart. Puso. Todo-bigay lang talaga. And it's because it inspires me to do the same. "Superior force" teams like the Lakers, FEU, et al are fun to watch sometimes, but can never get me into their game like an Ateneo, or Arseneal, for that matter..

But no, as much as I love football, and as much as it made my puyat morning worthwhile, banas pa rin panoorin matalo ang ADMU.

Cool yung "Drumline" routine ng Babble though! (sorry for the people at home. di ata pinakita.)

Edit: I'm still proud of my team. Imagine! Down by 30 points, and then hinabol mo yung lead to single digits? And considering most of our misses were shots that rattled out of the hoop, moral victory talaga 'to. I'm proud of them, as much as I'm positive there's an Archer fan there who felt deathly scared of that run.

current music: Aubrey - Bread


I'm in my favorite eaternet cafe next to Blueskies, and I'm trying to get the footprint details for Science 10. I've got all day and all morning tomorrow to finish something my teacher traditionally said takes one month. Slave-driving bitch.

I don't think it's THAT hard. My guess it's that people are lazy. hehe. But I know I'll have a tough time since the PC at home can't access the net.

I've not checked the error logs, but I have a BAD FEELING my DSL connection got hijacked by some virus. I used the Command Prompt, and typed "ping www.iasc.com", and voila. Ping request not processed.

So either somebody hacked us, or I've got to reinstall the DSL software. I'm praying it's just the latter, because that'll keep my network safe.
Please, Jess. help.

-------------

In other news, LnK meeting kanina. We discussed the summer that was. It was a real nostalgia trip for me, although everybody took it quite more seriously. Wahaha. Haay.

Kasabay ng Days batch A26 yung LnK get-together. Waaah. Malas.

At medyo, medyo lang ako na-OP noong nagkwekwentuhan mga kaibigan ko.
But fine, fine. I'm happy enough to see them.

Oh by the way, kinuha na ni Sannds yung 2 pang tickets para sa game bukas. Tish got 2 more, so that means the last one's mine. hehehe.

-------------

Yesterday, Heights Open Mic poetry reading. It was a personal first for me to read my own work. I was so embarrassed! Buti na lang wala pa sina Ma'am Beni or Sir Larry or Sir John there. Pero andun si Sir Yapan. Wehehehe. You can't win 'em all...

Cool yung binasa ni Sir Egay. Rakstar. Saka yung poem ni Louise, cool siya. The last girl who read (I forgot her name), may binasang poem na not-so-good pero na-gets ko pa rin at matino naman yung gustong sabihin. Sayang hindi raw sa kanya yun, kundi sa ex nya, so di nya pwedeng i-edit. Tsk. hehe

My kid brother also played there. He got some rave reviews for his music! *clap clap* Thing is, he was rude to the people when he was done. Boo.

We spoke to him earlier. He said he was disappointed with his performance. Hmmm. I understand, considering I myself aim for perfection to an almost anal-retentive level. But Roel shouldn't have gotten that upset.

Tsk.

current music: wala ngayon.

First things first: I have 5 General Admission tickets to the Ateneo - La Salle game on Sunday. Any takers? Please text me ASAP. :)

Thing is, it falls on the same day as Ninong Mon's anniversary dinner at Sweet Inspirations. Pinayagan ako agad ni Dad manood, but that right away disqualifies me from bringing family along with the game. And I was hoping I could get my brother to give them away. Grrrr.

Anyone? LnK? A-Days? :D

Meantime, my computer at home is having hiccups. Ninang Clar got me a Norton Antivirus program download (which she paid for with her credit card). It took us a while to get it started, particularly because the installation file has a strange habit of shutting off by itself. Maybe it was the virus. Ewan.

In the end, it ran a pre-install virus scan...sort of check for viruses before it started unpacking. It found 3 infected files in my system that it deleted post-haste.

Now, the new problems:
1.) the thing STILL shuts off on its own, and doesn't want to install.
2.) now ALL MY INTERNET UTILITIES AT HOME DON'T WORK. : (

Hence, I am typing from the CTC Lab chatting with Ninang about the problem.

Haay. :(

current music: Kandila - Sugarfree

To you, my readers, dearest of all my friends, kindly take Plath's poem below, take the characters and switch the genders. Then you'll see what's happening to me these days. Hehehe.

Mad Girl's Love Song
Sylvia Plath

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

current music: the one and only Il Postino OST

Leaning Into the Afternoons
by Pablo Neruda
Translated by W.S. Merwin

Leaning into the afternoons,
I cast my sad nets towards your oceanic eyes.
There, in the highest blaze my solitude lengthens and flames;
Its arms turning like a drowning man's.
I send out red signals across your absent eyes
That wave like the sea, or the beach by a lighthouse.
You keep only darkness my distant female;
From your regard sometimes, the coast of dread emerges.

Leaning into the afternoons,
I fling my sad nets to that sea that is thrashed
By your oceanic eyes.
The birds of night peck at the first stars
That flash like my soul when I love you.
The night, gallops on its shadowy mare
Shedding blue tassels over the land.

current music: Sugarfree's Dramachine! :D (Love ko ang "Tulog Na")

I was trying to write something on my blog, but i couldn't. Too many interruptions and my posts kept getting eaten. Grr.

It was something about me going on a Yahoo Messenger frenzy. Hehehe! :) I got to chat with Ailyn, Julian and Rap all at once. It went on to the little hours of the morning when my mom told me to sleep. Nice nice. Ninamnam ko yung oras, kwentuhan tuluy-tuloy.
And people know I usually go Invisible on YM, so me going out of my way to chat isn't exactly being in character for me. :p

All the while I was catching up with Ai, I also went on with some "harmless Friendster stalking". hehehe. Sort of while reliving some old memories (some about, um, "Certain people") I'd go "O, si ito, we've not talked in a while, pero balita ko, blah blah blah." Syempre naman para medyo up-to-date kahit paano.

Especially when it came to the ones I've not heard from in a long, long time. And they know who they are.

----------------
I had a real cool day. I got to watch A Midsummer Night's Dream! :D Everyone, I highly recommend you guys watching it. Aliw talaga siya. (But maybe that's because I got to sit front row-center at a discount. :p) Hehehe. Front row, 'tas mga katabi ko yung sub-group of the Philo class fondly referred to as "the Jesuits". :p Think big guys like me who recite frequently in class. Pero mabait. Anyway.

It was nice. Bentang-benta kasi yung play, never no mind wala doon si Sweet Lapus (wasn't his cast that time).

Got to see a lot of old friends, old teachers, my Philo classmates (malamang), some of the cute girls from my Philo block (I'm sorry. girl-watching = guilty pleasure. hehehe!)... okey afternoon ko. And to top it off, libre yung ice cream (ube + cheese + avocado. mmm.). asteeg. :p

I even got to see Jessica Zafra, (she was in front of me in the queue entering the theater) my old freshman English teacher Sir Jonathan Chua (he said "hello Mr. Doval-Santos!" in the signature faint voice that I could hear over a noisy crowd), my old freshman Filipino teacher Ma'am Bong Oris... heck, andun pa nga si Ma'am Beni! :D We talked over ice cream, and any day with Ma'am Beni is a very good day. :D

Which remids me: I should get down to remixing Dad's Violin post-haste.

Walked from RCBC to Glorietta with Hanniel dahil wala nang jeep noong 6 PM. He was nice enough to accompany me while I walked. Bait no? Ayaw daw niya ako ma-holdap. Hwehehe. He told me he wanted to buy tickets to Ateneo-La Salle next Sunday. I said I'd try to help him.
Oh, walking there, we got a text saying panalo Ateneo. Yey. Good ending for a good afternoon. :)

Evening, well... I got to buy Dramachine, Sugarfree's new CD! :D Then, I got picked up by my Mom and Dad and siblings to go to The Fort. They went shopping, and I ended up eating pizza at Price Smart. (any 18' cheese pizza is always good. mmm. pero Yellow Cab pa rin. :D)

Bad trip pauwi. Traffic. And my brother couldn't stop talking on the phone long enough for me to listen to Sugarfree. (heck, he's still on the phone as I write this, and it irritates me because I can't think clean.).

All in all, a good weekend. Except that I've not studied at all, nor have I written nor edited anything significant (except for Lighthouse Writing Exercise #2 and... WALA!)

Deadlines on Tuesday are creeping. Patay.

current music: Artstrong & Sugarfree on MTV Lokal. yey. :)

The weekend is winding rather slowly now. Last thing on the agenda is the Midsummer Night's Dream show later at 3 PM. Hopefully, Dad'll swing by to give me a ride. Or that he'll let me drive to Makati.

------------
another writing exercise from bed this morning.

Uninspired/Insipid


There are rubber nodes
on the black plastic refusing to give.
Hence, the TV screen of my muse
still stays empty and black.

------------

Yesterday, was Days meeting. It was nice gettting to hang with everybody. Kay tagal ding hindi ko sila nakikita... especially since I was away on the workshop. Every now and then, they'd ask "O, kumusta yung workshop?", and it'd be nice remembering some of the cool things there. Yun nga lang, I couldn't quite tell them what happened. It's not so much like in Days, where things are a secret. In the Heights Workshop, the process of critiquing works, of writing exercises, etc all is tricky to encapsulate into a few sentences.

Likewise, I'm also careful when it comes to the other, not-so-pleasant pieces of that weekend.

-------------

Kagabi kwentuhan kami ni Ailyn. Long time no kwento! Aliw. ü Kinda went up to the small hours of the morning on YM. Kwentuhan lang talaga... updates across the board. Tama naman siya: dahil minsan-minsan lang kayo nag-uusap, sagarin na siya. :D So puro current things... kumusta na si kwan, how's school, etc etc.

It was a long chat, while I went on "stalking people over Friendster". :p And no, I didn't tell her some of the people I looked over were people who don't quite acknowledge me as "prendster"... especially one girl from high school in particular. (and of course, Ai already knows who this one girl who 'fell from the sky' is. haay. :p)

"I think I made you up inside my head..." -Sylvia Plath

current music: Stay - Lisa Loeb

Updates:

1.) Yes, money has been tight lately. I guess it's a strange combination of events. Last week, I went on a book-buying mode that drained a large portion of what I saved over two weeks. That wouldn't have been so bad, but being grounded for a week left me having to commute daily throughout. Consider: trips back and forth from my house in a day = 60 pesos in one day (back and forth kasi). Daily allowance = 100 pesos in one day. And since I couldn't go home to save for luch, patay! UBOS TALAGA SIYA! :P

2.) No, wala akong participant na nakuha. I'm still trying to find one. Tricky lang kasi na maraming ibang communities diyan na may "friend silang kilala". Granted, I'd not be a Dazer if I didn't know Kaia, Kyla or the Mesina sisters for that matter. But still.

3.) Yes, natalo ang Ateneo kanina sa UE. Haay. "You can't win 'em all." Low point of the day. haay. It wasn't even that good a game! Ateneo played bad. That's all.

4.) No, the poem ain't finished yet. Still researching doing research, particularly on France. Why? You'll see. Hopefully it'll be done by tomorrow? I dunno. This is something I can cram, but I'm not positive if it'll all fall down the way I want it to. Maybe I can already re-tool the other one, "Dad's Violin". Or try tinkering with other early works. I'll see. (Carla, kung isip mo mahusay na yung dati, just wait. :D )

5.) Yes, I got myself 1 front-row seat to A Midsummer Night's Dream this Sunday, 3PM. :) Highlight of the day. Yey! hehehe! Buti na lang pumayag si Mommy bilhin siya para sa akin. :) I would have bought it myself (especially since our Philo class had them on discount) but well, money has been tight nga. :p

6.) No, my I-Mesh isn't quite working today. That stinks. I can't download music anymore. Grrr.

7.) Yes, yes, yes, I know. I need to study. But I've not quite gotten myself the willpower to force down these Philo and Theo readings. I get what they're about, and I can hold my own in the daily recitations. I just quite can't get used to sitting down and NOT WRITING. :P (Well, there's the occasional NBA Live 2004 binge, but that's different. :D)

8.) Yes, I'm regressing back to a state I was from way, way back. Haay. I hate it.

9.) I think I'm not mad anymore. Ewan ko na lang kung sila naman ang gustong magigng distant.

Today, I handed Waps and Javie my "remix" of my workshop poem. I asked them to crit it. Nakow.

Noong workshop, medyo "glossed over" siya kasi medyo vague yung subject matter. Ngayon na mas pinalinaw ko na siya by giving it some retouches, NAKOW! Kinatay na talaga siya! :p Di daw malinaw! And while the insight/meditation was good, marami pang butas! :p

Haay. I guess you don't really get it down on the first revision, huh?

The magic of a workshopping is that while it hurts to see the piece you stood up hours over get sent to the butcher, you have a certain tinge of excitement that spices you. It's like there's a sensation hard to make clear. To me, parang alam ko bigla kung ano talaga kailangan kong gawin. Clarity. And a sense of direction. Wonderful things.

For the most part, yeah. I think I can do this. :)

I think I can do this. :)

Meantime, I attended the formalist/new crit talk for English poetry. True to my "Fire-Breather" title, I went ahead and bang, bang, banged away with my close reading remarks. :D I'm afraid I might even have intimidated one or two English staffers. :p Sana naman hindi. Di nga ako member ng Heights, 'tas ganito bigla. :p

But I learned a lot. I think it's when we got down to apply the criticism's mechanics in practice towards the poem, I got a good sense of what makes the poem truly sing. It's amazing, how Gamalinda layered the insight. Shet shet shet.

Husay mhen. So the challenge is on me, if I can do this too.

Or better. :)

current music: Foolish Heart - Nina

Yes, if you know what the poem below is about, quiet lang kayo. :p

No, I've not heard from her in a long, long time. She didn't even approve my Friendster "Add As Friend" request, so wala talagang balita...

Yes, miss ko siya. Maybe she'd be proud knowing I made it as a fellow. If there's anybody who I wanted to share the news with, it'd be her.

Today and Tuesday features free cuts for Theology. Yey! :D Less stress, more time to write, read and do whatever. :D

Today I asked Waps to help me edit. He told me the main issue with "Dance" is like the others I've written: it fails to make the scene clear.

He said that lyric poetry tends to revolve around a metaphor and the insight that comes hand in hand with it, a prose poem crystallizes a scene. Yun din, ayon naman kay Sir Krip, dapat malapot yung idea ng prose poem, the subject should be something really different.

So lagot tayo dito sa "Dance" kung ganoon. :(

Isip ko pwede pa 'tong isalba... pwede pa siyang i-30 Days. I just need to do more thinking/focused study on the scene of two people dancing.

Haay. Wish me luck.

current music: Everything - Lifehouse

I, for the life of me, cannot write prose poetry. :(


Dance

Our steps were broken, half-hearted verses. We wondered, with you leaning on my shoulders and our hands losing themselves in our mazed fingers why the wind was unseen, why you wanted me to title my poems after it. It was there, undoubtedly, like a God's love. Like angels. But never apparent, Always in question. Every other day, we would steal away, and we went, whispering rimmed rhymes from beyond the track oval, or plagiarizing a phone line or two from wise men who knew little. We swayed to the music, that evening, I holding your pale white hand creaming at your tears streaming. You told me (without words) love was something painful, something in doubt that kept you up at night, tossing at turning, clutching to the angel statuette I gave you to keep you safe and to conduit my mute prayers for you. My hands stood beside you and your red dress and there, I watched you grow wings and float into the eyes of the lost boy across the hall. Today, you're away, in the arms of another, and I, keeping the lost metaphors of our whispered poem in stasis, in icy black and white.


Kung sinuman diyan marunong, patulong po. Salamat.

current music: Angel - The Corrs, Confessions II - Usher, She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5, and others at MTV and LAUNCHCAST. :)

I've had a very busy weekend.

Friday:

Was spent heading to school. I *finally* got around attending Sci 10. Haay. Then, it was tambay/cram FA 101 paper in the Internet Cafe next to Blueskies. I won't be surprised if I don't do well for that one. I was pretty ill-prepared to get that one.

May I add? I've gone on a bookbuying binge. :p Since I realized last Friday that I've been snagging too many contemporary poetry books, I grabbed a book of "Great Love Poems", which is full of old, OLD stuff. :p Stuff like Shakespeare, Marlowe, Tennyson, etc etc. Yes, pangit yung book. But hey. I hardly had any money left. :(

I also got my certificate for the Heights writers' workshop at Heights' GA. Yey. :D Wala na ako sa Heights, pero medyo may "perks" pa rin ako para nun. :p In effect, I'll still have to write 3 poems, or 1 short story, and one close reading of a poem, like any other staffer...

Except, well, I'm not a staffer anymore. :p Oh well. Di bale. Fellow naman ako ngayon. :p

Later that evening, we were expecting my Tito Joey Anca (Tita Louie's husband) arriving home from Singapore. I pigged out on spaghetti. :p Then, when we met up with him, we ate at Yellow Cab Pizza at Greehills. (Dayzers, alam nyo naman gaano ko mahal yung #4 Cheese nila, di ba?)

Gronk. Busog.

Saturday:

Kung kahapon busog, gutom na gutom naman to! :P Hardly ate anything the whole day. :p Spent it at home, where they hardly cooked anything. haay. Trapped at home the whole day, then night came.

We went to Eastwood City, para mag-mall kasabay nina Tito. Lola Anca's birthday was to be held that evening at Shanghai Bistro. So doon na ako nagpaka-sarap sa pagkain. :D I was also the host/emcee for the party along with Tito. Wahahaha. Nakaka-tawa. Tito kept getting the name "Eastwood" wrong. Halatang kay tagal niyang wala sa Maynila. :p

Whiled the evening away malling/window shopping with my sibs, and Dad's two amazing cousins, Chelo and Rosa (mga ninang ko). Yehey.

I WANT A PAIR OF BLUE AND WHITE 1982 NIKE AIR FORCE ONES LIKE IN SHOE SALON.

OR A PAIR OF T-MAC 3.5's. :D (yeah, t-mac's na lang. :p)

Astig din yung gigantic Garfield stuffed toy back in the movie district of Eastwood. :p It was even bigger than my kid sister. :D

[Nakita ko rin doon ung isang pamatay-sa-cute na girl na ka-high school, pero 2 batches lower than me. Ka-service daw yun dati ni Fritz. Haay. Memories.]

Sunday:

Morning was spent cramming the Genogram for the Theology Recollection. Oks naman yung recollection. Some nice ladies from CEFAM were the ones facilitating. :) Napa-group ako sa afternoon session, with Carl, Kim, Kaye and Allan. Oks naman. Learned quite a bit.

Didn't get to chat with anybody on the family webcam though. Oh well.

Oh yeah, PANALO ATENEO!!! :D Yeah! :D 1st round sweep! :D

current music: Wave 89.1

http://xbox.gamespy.com/xbox/nba-street-v3/533426p1.html

It's a dream come true, ladies and genltemen! :D And I can't wait. :)

------------------------

Meanwhile, I've spent so much money on poetry and books, I think I might not make it home tonight. Especially since I got that "Great Love Poems" volume for 160 bucks. Shet shet shet.

But at least, I'll be smarter when I DO finally decided to start writing love poems again. I'll have read "the classics" so I won't stumble on what's already been done.

Don't ya just hate that? When you're all ready to get to work, you read something and then you realize your project's already been done before. Yeah. Sucks don't it?

At least it's not probably gonna happen to me.

But I MUST get to the library and borrow some canon for once. This book-shopping spree is killing my pocket.

---------------

current music: more senti.

Today, like a good boy, I woke up early. Very early. Around 5 AM early. Went downstairs, chatted with Chimoms a bit over breakfast, checked my email and gathered my things. I can't quite remember if I took a decent shower. All I know is I ended up wearing red shorts as underwear beneath black pants and a sando/sleeveless shirt I usually wear for basketball in my hurry.

I started my climb up the hill at around 6 or so. I was just trying to be good, trying to avoid being late or having to steal the car or something. Today was like yesterday wherein nobody offered to give me a lift up the steep, fifty foot-or-so hill that led to the tricycle stop.

I got to the KFC-Gate 3 area at around 6:45. On the ride in the jeep, I noticed some little things. Like my friend, Mela who was wearing yellow. (I think. basta may cute akong nakita doon!) Or how there's no traffic along Katips at around 6:20 but triples in intensity at 6:40 Or how other passengers have reacted differently to me this morning. Maybe it was because I looked so comfy in casual. I just took pains to hide my ID and Days cross under my shirt, lest I draw attention to theives.

Like a bad boy, I decided to cut my classes. All of 'em. I didn't have my homework for Theo131, because
1.) I couldn't ask my parents for info. We've not yet talked anyway.
2.) I fell asleep very early so I could wake up early for the commute.

I really didn't want to cut Theo and Philo, but hey. I decided I needed the break. It also happened that with me was the PS2 memory card, so I took it to Hobby Stop and released some, no, LOTS of tension by beating up pixellated people in Soul Calibur 2. Saya! I think I took around 2 hours or so, just playing, unlocking secret bonus characters, reading the feeble storylines, staring at the technicality of the kung-fu / swordplay of the game, that sort of thing.

I then went to Aeon books, and like many people I know, I took my bothersome stress to shopping, and just book-shopped. For a good hour or so too. Saya! :D I think if I can save up two weeks' worth of allowance, I can run away with a good set of poetry books to prepare myself. Yey. :)

I ended up buying two books:

One Hundred Love Poems: Philippine Love Poetry Since 1905
(edited by Gemino H. Abad and "Sir Krip" Alfred Yuson)
and
The Nymph of MTV
(2003's Palanca awardee for poetry by Angelo Suarez)

Yey. Swag. :) Lotsa swag. Even yesterday, I also got the collection of Father Poems, also co-edited by Sir Krip. Hehehe. Bias daw.

I want a copy of Salvaged Poems by Emman Lacaba. Jeb! Eram naman! :D I'm also thinking of someday rounding out my collection of poets, but the serious, international classics (Sexton, Plath, Elliot, Kerouac, Neruda, etc etc etc) all cost a fortune.

Decided to visit the Pub. At least the tone of the sunny day has made an impact: people are now smiling, like yesterday was just a weird aberration of hormones and bad alcohol. May isang bubwit na masayang masaya. :p hehehe. baaad. :p

On my way home I decided to hear Mass. I was a bit late, I arrived at the Homily where Fr. Ben Nebres was talking about the Blue Eagles and "pagiging buo ang loob", like what we need to be when we're going through duress. Haay. Thank you for that Father. :D

Yes, Jesuit music is the best thing in the world when you're going through shit. :) "Huwang Kang Mangamba" was the song they sang at Communion. Wow.

Kuya Jess, you're real to me because it's days like this you make your presence felt when I need you. :) Salamat Lord. Di pa rin ako ganyang ka saya o kanyang kayang magpatawad, at ngarag pa rin ang mga tao sa Pub at sa tahanan ko. But I'm getting there, I hope.

I also saw someone at Mass. Pero I'll just go "shhh" on that one. It's not so significant anyway. Well, not yet.

I'm back. and angry. and wet. and hurt.

And it doesn't look like it'll get any better.

Don't ask just yet.

current music: 'Till They Take my Heart Away - Clair Marlo

RAPH IS ON HIATUS.

Yeah. You read right. I'll be away until Sunday, away on the 10th Heights Writers' Workshop. And it's only now that the sound of the words start to ring, only now that it calls a little child out of his hiding place in my chest.

Yeah. Excited na ako. But I haven't started packing. Meantime, bilin kong mensahe... .

..para sa mga Dayzers, hope the meeting on Saturday goes okay. Pls remember the string on my tag should be long, to compensate my thick neck. :p Give a hug and kiss for everyone from me (maging sinu man kayong sisipot. :p) salamat. Mami-miss ko kayo ah.

...para sa LnK, I'm sorry I had to ditch the meeting (on Saturday also. coincidences?), Execom eval pa man din. Sana di ako mapa-"chopping block" dahil sa stint kong deputy studcom. :p Sana pumasa kids natin sa UPCAT. Sana okey ang next summer. Sana nandyan ako kasama nyo. haay. Kayo miss ko na talaga. :D God bless.

...para sa Heightsers, kweh! :p Magkikita rin tayo. Pero, salamat ah. All this ain't possible w/o y'all.

...para sa mga hindi ko binaggit, thanks for the prayers and support. :) And if not, well, bahala na si Batman sa inyo.

Shout-out prayers to the Ateneo Blue Eagles and Larry Fonacier, as I will be away while they play. Hope they win that day.[Shucks, this Saturday will be more eventful than I initially realized.]

------------

So I spend my night listening to mp3's which I will be separated from for a while. And I've not really chatted with my family. Guess they're getting used to me being away. Sana naman hindi, as I've had issues about being needed.

I'm not even thinking about what's gonna happen. I'm looking for a bag for toiletries, a fresh pad/pile of clean paper, my toothbrush and toothpaste, towels, two good pens, and clothes. Lots of clothes, good for four days. And praying my grey bag can carry all these things.

To quote Sir D.M., you "write in white heat, edit in cold blood". I think I'll be running hot, and able to write a lot for a few days. Can't edit anthing anyway, including these posts. I just seem to be running running running...

And as hot as I run now, I wanna pack my bags, listen to M.Y.M.P.'s "Waiting in Vain" five more times, shave my beard off, and catch some sleep.I'm ready to go. Wish me luck y'all.

current music: Dream of Me - Kirsten Dunst

Being stranded for two and a half hours with a friend can, over the course of discussion, help you. So how did being stuck with Julian in the backwoods of Kalayaan Ave help? He helped me remember something I did not want to.

What was it in particular?

It was my particular phobia/quirk about witnessing girls cry in front of me. Especially if I'm powerless over the situation.

[And no, wala akong pina-patamaan dine. Just needed to share.]

In so doing, I feel like writing stuff again. And now that I know a thing or two, I'll give it a good shot. I suppose sharing things I felt then unprepared to share woke up my muse with a good shake and loud music. So now, the compelling need to be creative and to actually SAY SOMETHING is back.

I'll post it when I've edited it. Again. And again. Or maybe I won't. I've started the draft, and now I'm thinking of whether I'll add stuff or if I'll wait 'till I've cooled off and start editing.

Julian, salamat.

PS: I forgot the car was color-coded. And I made a U-Turn in front of cops. :p Buti na lang tanga mga pulis. :D

 

current music:  Noypi - Babmoo (MTV Pilipinas performance)

because the last one i popped was a hit...

Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House
Billy Collins

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,

and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.

------------------------------------

Now that all my Philo papers, all my long tests for the next few weeks are all up, I'm finally psyched for that Heights Workshop. :)

Wish me luck people.

current music: silence, save for a TV with the news

Yes, everybody's still in shock with the game yesterday. *sigh* In case you've been living under a very big rock, Larry Fonacier's out for the season. ACL and MCL injury from the UP game. Hard to say what happened: I saw the game on TV, and the knee... just... gave. Like a cracked branch that finally decided when to fall.

It's awful. We won the battle, but might have lost the war. :(

Still, kaya yan. We're 4-0, and history has shown Ateneo's players know how to step up in cases of injury/suspension, and win big no matter what.

Kayang-kaya yan.

BELIEVE.

current music:  Maghihintay Sa 'Yo - Akafellas

I wrote a very nice post last night, but the PC ate it up. So, I put off re-writing lest I pull my hair out. Heh.

So what's new with me? Hmm... well. :D

I ran into one of the really cute girls from my Philo class at Greenbelt yesterday. Twice. I think she was with her boyfriend, so fine fine. Good for her. Lucky dude. :p And I mean real lucky. The LnK friends know what my "Miss Manalo" looks like, so they'd get a very good idea why I think she's pretty. :D I've talked to her once or twice before. Kinda... well, slightly distant. She doesn't open up that well, but I guess she's just shy. Which is fine.

Ah. What am I doing? Besides, she's not the only cute girl in my class. ;p

I realize I'm lucky like that: I'm surrounded by beautiful people. The girls I know and befriend are prettier than the average lady on the street, while the guys who I chill with seize the attentions of many.

Yes, you're included. :)

Yeah, some people who've known be for a long time will not notice it until I start naming names, which I'm not priviledged to do here. It's too public here, and some people I've not heard from in a long time.

Yes, some of these people are shallow. Very much so. Yet, there will always be a good handful of people who surprise me. I'm lucky that way. Beauty surrounds me daily, both in a visual sense, and otherwise. :)

Anyway, I spent a large portion of my afternoon commuting from my home to Greenbelt. Which was sad, considering I commute from the house to Katipunan (1 jeep + 1 trike), then ride to Cubao-Araneta (LRT-3), then walk a bit deeper in Cubao area to ride up to Ayala Ave (EDSA MRT), then I get off at the Ayala Center. But I had to get to Greenbelt, right? So I took a very pricey taxi ride to get there. Damn. I spent two days' worth of savings. :(

So much for watching Irene's Tatarin in UP this Saturday. :(

Meantime, I'm thinking of playing some NBA Live 2004 on my PC for a while until I have to drive back for my FA class. I'm also thinking of editing my poem. But I dunno. I just hope Chimoms didn't use up the paper.

current music: poetry read aloud.
I never really befriended Sir Kael. I knew I talked to him once, in the Heights GA back in my freshman year. So I'm no friend of the great, one and only "rakstar". Nevertheless... here's something.
 
Baka Sakali
ni Mikael Co
 
Sapagkat walang sapilitang paglimot,
isinusulat ko ito.
Sapagkat nagbabakasakali akong
maaaring isilid sa salita ang gunita,
isinusulat ko ito.
Naririnig mo ba ako?
Ibinubulong ko ang pagnanasang
mapasaiyong muli.
Nanghihingi ako ng dahilang
mapasaiyong muli.
Sapagkat iniibig kita,
oo, iniibig pa rin kita:
sapagkat kaagaw ko sa kumot
ang multo ng iyong alaala,
 
sapagkat ikaw ang ginaw na tumatatak sa aking balat,
sapagkat simoy kang dumadaloy
sa bawat iskinita ng lungsod na ito; sapagkat ikaw
ang anyong humuhubog sa bawat larawan,
ang larawang nagbibigay-hanggan sa kalawakan,
kalawakang dumaragan sa kumikipot
at kumikipot kong piraso ng daigidig,
 
sapagkat iniibig kita,
oo, iniibig pa rin kita,isinusulat ko ito.
Sapagkat nagbabakasakali akong
maaaring isilid sa salita ang gunita,
ang salita sa papel, at saka sunugin,
sunugin, sapagkat nagbabakasakali akong
maaaring tangayin ng hangin ang gunita,
sapagkat nagbabakasakali akong
may isang estrangherong
makalalanghap ng gusgusin kong gunita,
 
at hahanapin ka niya,
sintang hanggan ng kalawakan,
sintang multo ng alaala,
sintang estranghera sa gunita
ng estranghero ng gunita,
sapagkat nagbabakasakali akong
makikita ka niya, at iibigin ka niya,
at iibigin mo siya--
sapagkat iniibig kita,
 
oo, iniibig pa rin kita,
nagbabakasakali akong
sa kanya, sana, sa kanya, sinta,
lumigaya ka.
 
---------------------
 
Tangina. nakaka-iyak nga. Why did I post this? Well... let's just say I'm tried to look to the past to get perspective with the present... and there's stuff I've not quite mentioned to people, or haven't brought up in a long time. So let's just call this a lapse.
 
To she-of-whom-I-never-speak-of-anymore-but-am-grateful-for-much ... I miss you. Para sa iyo itong boses kong nilulukot ng mga maliit at marahas na manggas ng luha.
 
 

current music:  Itsumo - Dice & K9
 
Finally! From the Philippines comes a fresh dose of "senti rap"! :D Hehehe... I love rap when it's used as a love song... something different from the aggressive thugs/drugs/weed/hos talk that goes on all the time... Not since Common's "The Light" (arguably my favorite rap song of all time) has something like it come up.
 
Now if only I could understand what Sashi's talking about in the chorus.
 
------------
 
Sira ata blogger. I'll post back next time.

current music: Help Me Forget - Akafellas

Shet shet. Senti! :p

Yeah. Nakita ko siya kanina. Haay.

If you're reading this, well. Bahala na. You'd understand, but I don't feel the need to explain it right now.

-----

RANT:
Kahit anong yanig nang mundo, kahit anong mangyari sakin... DI KO PAPALITAN ANG LAYOUT NA TO!!!

I don't care what Jason tells me, that layout design and writing in your blog are the same. NO THEY'RE NOT! Stupidity like that is what gives Creative Writing majors the bad name of being stupid people!!!

Writing and clicking with your mouse to change colors of a site are far, far different disciplines. Stupid stupid stupid...

All the worse pag may music ang blog mo. KADIRI.

Haay.

Sarap. I got that out of my system at last.

I tune into the TV, and I witness another CIA raid acquire secret computer code. This does not go 100% well. They are found out, and a gunfight ensues. The 'suspect' takes part of the code, attempts an escape which spills into a fantastic car chase.

And when I think it's over... voila. Alias has just started. :)

Aliw din ang Chubibo. :) Galeng. :D Salamat Irene, sa iyong 'plug'. :p

I'm supposed to be studying Theology. I think I'm getting overconfident. Hwah. Readings ko, gets ko. Mga notes ko, kumpleto naman.

Maybe I'm more concered with the car drive home. :D :D :D

Haay.

Oh by the way, UAAP Fans na naglalaro sa computer! Meron nang UAAP-NCAA Live mod para sa NBA Live 2004. :D Astig siya. Pero... parang mas magaling si Doug Kramer sa game kaysa sa tunay na buhay? :p

current music: On Fire - Lloyd Banks

I'm still happy for the victory yesterday. Stories shared makes relishing it so much more fun. :)

I'm still working on this Theo paper. Jess, bakit?? :p

Mula kay Jilly. I REALLY LIKE THIS. :)

Your Years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Name
Age
House	GryffindorHufflepuffRavenclawSlytherin
Family Line	MugglebornHalf-BloodPure-Blood
Dated	Hermione Granger
You are well known for	Your family name
Percentage of student body you shagged - 60%
How do the staff and students feel about you	Ahhh!! I want to have your babies!!
This QuickKwiz by lady_ameily - Taken 142506 Times.

Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

Hottie pala na-date ko. Astig astig astig. :p Time to be like Hufflepuff and work work work hard. :)

Impossible is Nothing. :)