current music: You're Beautiful - James Blunt

Oy, sinong may alam kung magkaano ang bagong speakers? Nakaka-asar na't hindi na ako makakinig ng music ng matino! :s

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In other news, I am quite delighted that somebody's wish, after years of waiting has been fulfilled. hehehe.

I am happy to find closure in all this. I can now close this chapter once and for all. (unless something comes up again, as usual.)

current music: Do for Love - Tupac Shakur

Your Brain's Pattern

You're a simple thinker, and this is actually a very good thing. You don't complicate matters when you don't have to. You look for the simplest explanation or solution, and you go with that. As a result, your mind is uncluttered and free of stress.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

current music: Around the World - Daft Punk


The Name Game

Rules:
1. Write something about 15 different people.
2. You can NOT say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about them, you can NOT tell. If you know you're there, tell me but no reactions.



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(1) For a long, long time, we were pretty tight. He used to call up the house quite frequently and we'd talk. I even got to listen to the songs he wrote for his ex way back then. Then when he met this girl, the phone calls (thankfully! haha) stopped. Although, I think he broke up with that girl recently too. He's also a really good guitarist; you should listen to him try rendering Jason Mraz, or another favorite, Lifehouse's "Everything". :)


(2) People, when they meet him, can get the impression that this dude is gay. Really. There were the telltale signs: boyband music, a passion for dance, and a fixation with poetry regarding a certain object that looks phallic (hahaha!). But he's also a very nice guy. Everybody seems to like him. I also remember that I made a joke of him being gay at a party, and he did nothing but smile.

(and yet, making jokes about it to him were UNHEARD OF. I only know one other person who'd dare crack that one.)


(3) Mental bookmark ko sa babaeng ito ay "most expensive cup of coffee," which was by no fault of her own, but a certain AWFUL person she introduced me to. :p This girl had a gig on her birthday, and the dude (in a funky hat) who was the emcee took the microphone and said, quite bluntly "Oy, pagbigyan nyo siya. Nata-tae siya ngayon!" Wahahaha! But she was brilliant onstage nevertheless. I'm CRAZY about her music, while the person in #1, for a time, was CRAZY about HER (haha! isyu lang po). :p


(4) She doesn't check her LJ so much anymore, but I remember when I was Really Depressed back in high school, sa kanya ako nag-confide. I'll bet she'd never believe me when I say she stopped me from killing myself. Hehe. And to think naging close kami dahil sa isang e-mail na pinadala niya ako ng wallpaper ng Samurai X. :p (along with a long string of other emails, of course) I miss her terribly; ANDAMI ko kailangang ikwento sa kanya! :p

We also have a funny sort of charm: I loaned her something of Great Value to me, and it was supposed to give her luck. It's still with her. I'd be grateful to know if she's doing well. :)


(5) This girl, I shall hereby refer to as She-Who-I-Cannot-Name-Because-I'm-Darned-Ashamed. For the longest time, I really, really liked her, but I screwed up QUITE ROYALLY. :p We're friends though. I hardly get to speak to her anymore. And I still can't quite think of roses without cringing, twitching, remembering. I started writing poetry for kicks because she brought it up in a conversation. That conversation has changed my life.


(6) Ang pinaka-malambing na taong kilala ko. She gives me hugs at random, out of the blue. I think it's what she uses in lieu of handshakes. In fact, unti-unti na akong nagiging malambing dahil napupulot ko ito sa kanya! :p She's very up-to-date with what's happening with my life, as I am to hers. We've had disagreements (some lasting weeks), but she's a peach. She's one of 'many of my patients,' and I'd say more but us 'doctors' have 'confidentiality clauses' to consider. hehehe She's also my former boss. :p


(7) To this day, I remember him as the first friend, from way, way back in grade school. Why first friend? I think it was more of "first friend who stuck around", and his family is like family already. He's made quite a name for himself these days. He loaned me a whole bunch of books which shaped my thinking. He's been on TV loads of times, for different reasons. nyahahaha. I still have some of his PS2 games here at home. I'm in no immediate hurry to return them. :p


(8) This girl's really thoughtful; she hands people gifts, little notes and letters just to say 'hi'. I met her in Ateneo's Summer Enrichment Program (SEP) when I was entering 3rd year high. She struck me as very easy to talk to, and by the end of summer, we were always in touch with each others' lives. 3rd and 4th year high were pockmarked with memories of phone calls with her. To this day, she still asks me to write her stuff just for fun. She also got me started tutoring kids, and thus, she has changed my life! :D


(9) 'Soul Brother' is what he calls me, and I would call him thus. Noon, akala ko type niya yung isang tao dito sa list (nyahahahaha), pero hindi pala. Hehe. Naging close kami dahil sa isang particular black stand-up comedian na trip na trip namin. :D He's arguably the only one I can talk to openly about certain taboos in the world. Haha. He was supposed to act for me in a play I was working on, but it didn't happen. Tsk.


(10) Years ago, I had a dream about a really, really cute girl whom I did not know. a few days later, pina-kilala ako sa kanya! (how's that for coincidence?) Needless to say, she's one of the loveliest people I've had the pleasure of being close to; andaming may type sa kanya at isa na siyang isyu queen sa amin! :p At super bait at madasalin pa. These days we don't get to talk over the phone, nor have I updated her as much. Busy kasi ang buhay ng sumasayaw ng street. :) I've told her about the dream too. Just not all the details. haha.

(although I will say that I can't EXACTLY remember who it was I saw in a dream; it's her VOICE that sounds like her. I know that whoever it was, she was tall... and this girl isn't exactly THAT tall. :p)


(11) My prom is loaded with memories. She is one of them, even though she and I both didn't have dates. If the person in #5 started me on poetry, this girl put me on the fast-track to loving it. We were also fond of certain things, like angels, music, good books and quiet moments just talking. Over time, the story was that a certain jealous boyfriend didn't want me calling her (but looking back, I think it was her excuse to keep me away. hehe). We aren't exactly friends anymore; if I saw her in the street one day, I'd recognize her, but odds are she'd already have forgotten me. I had half a mind to go search for her in her gigantic school, but I don't know.

Years have passed, and I don't know whether or not I loved her, or if it was just the idea of her I loved.


(12) I've an ever-changing set of friends over the years. She's one of the few of my friends who's met my whole family, not including uncles and aunts. Ayon sa kanya, ang first impression niya sa akin ay "sino 'tong bwiset na 'to??" (or something to that effect!). She now is a very close friend, and she knows a LOT of my dirt. :p

Tsismis: Noong hinulaan ko boyfriend niya with cards, at kasama siya, may lumabas na card na may meaning na "good news". At the mention of the meaning, we wondered. Sabi namin, "ano kaya yun"? She then put her hand on his, looked him in the eye, and said to him: "Alam mo, I'm pregnant." wahahahahaha! laugh trip talaga.


(13) Groupmates kami nito noong Filipino class, and to this day, we've been pals. I clandestinely snuck her a letter from this boy she was in love with, even though her mom hates that guy's guts. 'Thoughtful' is one of her nicer traits; nga lang, hindi siya marunong makiramay sa taong banas! Hahaha! She's also an amazing actress, and has such a lovely voice! Mental bookmark ko naman dito ay ang "bitterest cup of coffee"; nanlibre ako around the time of my birthday, and it was a very, very difficult week for her then, and the conversations was just... sad. (speaking of which, malapit nga pala b-day niya...)

I will never admit it to her, but she's helped me find God.


(14) Mahina ang ilong ko, but I LOVE the perfume this girl wears. In fact, even when she doesn't wear the perfume, she smells real nice too! I learned how to play poker at the same time as her. Self-proclaimed 'sabog', and very hyper, and yet I've seen her when she's not (though most people can't imagine what that's like). She's one of the girls who tells me "Boys suck!" and goes into tiarides about how men are miserable filth, and I'd just nod my head and say "it's okay." :P

Oh yeah, remember the girl in #12? She wrote a story and quite strangely, kasama itong si #14 dun. :p Riot talaga. :)


(15) You know how they say that the bestest friendships last countless arguments? It is both my insecurity and my pride that I've never had a real, lasting argument with this guy. We've been tight since 1st year high, and we've gone through all sorts of kooky and not-so-pleasant things together. Hehe. Kung sa mundo ng Harry Potter, I can safely say na ako si Sirius Black pag pinag-tabi ninyo kami: siya yung sikat na sikat a dude, at ako yung sidekick na laging promotor ng crazy adventures. :p



Feel free to comment. ü

current music: I'm Housin' - Rage Against the Machine

Shucks. This blog's starting to gather molds and dirt, figuratively. I suppose it's high time I start updating.

As of today, it's Saturday and my parents have left the city for a retreat. Meantime, I've got a meeting in Ateneo later at around 1 PM, for a focus-group discussion (FGD) regarding Days retreats! How's that for coincidence? My brother and sister are still upstairs, and judging from the fact that I can't hear the TV or stereo working upstairs, they must still be asleep.

I've thought about this meeting. A-Days, for over a year now, has become a very sacred commitment to me. But I wonder, if I should really keep at it, and for how much longer?

Since December, every batch I've staffed in featured me getting sick, be it asthma or a fever, or stomach flu or a combination of all three (Payatas batch survivor!). When I return, I'm dead tired and I often don't have enough energy to go through my normal routines, unlike when I started staffing a year ago. My father, being a doctor, has advised me to take it slow, but that's easier said than done; I've often been assigned for tasks that take me awake late into nights, and need me to carry heavy things. (ie: Housing, like my current music says)

I used to be able to attend all the meetings and was one of the most up-to-date on all operations of the impending retreats. Now, I barely arrive on time for them, and in the retreats themselves, I have trouble being efficient, mostly because of my illnesses. High blood pressure sucks.

And yet, there's still stuff I hope to achieve: staff for another year, sponsor my siblings and/or friends, rector my own batch, do housing again, head the music crew... (I'm laughing at myself in my head at these wishful thoughts!)

It doesn't look any easier for the next few months: I'm directing Jihan's play, I'm preparing my practicum, I'm struggling to make those homeworks for History and Art Writing, I'm trying to write more poems for that thesis with Sir DM, and I'm barely passing in two subjects. I credit my bad time management for these fiascos (jogging with Jihan, lunches out with the girls, etc), but I also know that anything more on my plate will be the end of me.

(Hell, time is so scarce, the worst thing that can happen to me is to fall in love, I tell you.)

What's more, if I do take that LAE, I'd be far, far more stressed juggling everything. And if I pass? That's when the shit hits the fan; I think I may indeed be forced to stop.

So do I give up A-Days? Lord knows I don't want to. Even if the world seems like its conspiring to try and stop me.

current music: Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put a Spell on You) - Aqualung

As of Last Night

My head has been killing me. I originally thought it was because I've gone a week or so without my glasses, which I misplaced for a while. I've found them again, but then it wasn't the answer. Maybe it was my 'reverse insomnia', where I'd get sleep, only to wake at 2 AM, and unable to return to sleep all day.

I'm not sure whether or not the headache was because of the glasses, or the PC, or the heat, or my high blood, or my brother singing songs by "The Used" a capella, or a combination of sorts. All I knew was my head hurt really, really bad.

(It didn't quite help that I had go to an FGD on that head. Wala lang; powered-down mga sinasabi ko, but I could at least stay focused.)

Last night, I texted people about the headache (which was at about 8PM at its highest point), they all resoundingly advised me to get some sleep. Mela even went so far as to help me get to sleep, with her own cure for insomnia! It went something like this:

- open all the windows
- change the sheets
- turn on the electric fan
- play slow music (a la Norah Jones)
- take a warm drink (milk, tea, hot chocolate, et al)
- a light snack
- a nice long relaxing shower/bath
- put a nice scent on my new bedsheets

I told her it wasn't just the longest text message anyone ever sent, but it was also one of the craziest things I ever heard. :p

Next thing I knew I was spraying the room and my new bedsheest with Glad Air and Fabric freshner. :p

I even brandished incense sticks and my room started to smell like a DWTL batch! Like staffer's quarters, maybe. And some jazz from the radio playing. Hehe. I also got the rainstick to help make soothing, relaxing noise. And rain. (I think it did rain! I forget.) And played Aqualing's "Strange and Beautiful" (which is my current music right now) on my PC as the last thing I played before shutting down.

Of course, I've a feeling that after my reply, she'd have thought I was mocking her suggestion. :p We ended up making a deal that if it worked, I'd buy her the frozen Milo drinks at the caf. Hehe.

Did it work? Well...
I will say that I was able to sleep at 9 PM, but by 2 AM, I was up again, as usual! :S BUT! I will say I was able to doze off right away. :) So parang 9 PM to 2 AM, and then 2 AM to 7 AM sleep... 9-10 hrs, kuno.

And my head still kinda hurts. But I ain't sleepy.

I've half a mind to tell her that it didn't work, that I still ended up wide awake at 2 in the morning, and that my head still hurts. Hehe. Or, I oughta pay up. After all, sleep is sleep, and I did wake up this morning feeling refreshed and grateful.

Oh well. That's that.

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I still wonder if there's really some kind of spell on me that's making me do these crazy things at the drop of a pin. :p

Know what else? The loudest thought in my head was that I wished that it was her perfume that I could spray on these bedsheets. [eh syempre, I love that scent!] :)

(but no, I shouldn't tell her that. she'd kick me, slap me, or worse. :p)

Y'see, after lunch yesterday Mela and I had a talk about music. I shared how, for the most part, I tend to have a humougous palate of music I like to listen to. And I'm talking huge. And yet, there's always a set of 20 or so songs that I cannot live without.

I never tried writing them down, let alone mentally sum them into a list. So here there be my attempt to compile. I already knew 10 of them, but recently I've been listening to new stuff, and re-discovering old stuff. :) I told her they were about 20. I did not expect it'd be closer to 3-4 dozen songs.

What can I say? I listen. :)

THE SONGS I MOST DEFINITELY NEED:

1.) Waiting in Vain - Bob Marley / Annie Lennox / MYMP
2.) Keep 'Ya Head Up - Tupac Shakur
3.) True - Spandau Ballet
4.) Worlds Apart - Jars of Clay / A-Days Music Crew
5.) Heaven Help - Lenny Kravitz
6.) Telepono - Sugarfree
7.) Where the Streets Have No Name - U2
8.) Hold On - Phil Collins
9.) 1/2 Wishing - Mojofly
10.) Everything - Lifehouse
11.) Goodnight and Go - Imogen Heap
12.) 911 - Wyclef Jean
13.) Cupid - 112
14.) Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
15.) Patawad - Chubibo
16.) Burnout - Sugarfree
17.) The Way You Look Tonight - Frank Sinatra
18.) The Light - Common
19.) Rockstar - N.E.R.D.
20.) Sa Uulitin - Mojofly
21.) Another Day - Mojofly
22.) Stars - Hungry Young Poets
23.) Renegades of Funk - Rage Against the Machine
24.) Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity) - Incubus
25.) Like A Stone - Audioslave
26.) In My Place - Coldplay
27.) Black Balloon - Goo Goo Dolls
28.) Untitled (How Does It Feel) - D'Angelo
29.) Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang - Freestyle & Pops Fernandez / Ogie Alcasid 30.) Pilgrims - South Border
31.) Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra & Bono
32.) I've Got A Woman - Ray Charles
33.) Cannonball - Damien Rice
34.) The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
35.) Everyday - Agot Isidro
36.) Just Friends (Sunny) - Musiq
37.) Here to Stay - Josh Groban
38.) Over and Over - Nelly & Tim McGraw
39.) One Mic - Nas
40.) Jeepney - Sponge Cola
41.) Harana - Parokya ni Edgar
42.) Halaga - Parokya ni Edgar
43.) Listen - Stonefree
44.) So Into You - Fabolous & Tamia
45.) Love You Down - INOJ
46.) Teardrops - Lovestation
47.) Rewind - Craig David & The Artful Dodger
48.) Deep Inside of You - Third Eye Blind
49.) How I Could Just Kill A Man - Rage Against the Machine
50.) Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put a Spell On You) - Aqualung
51.) Dear Mama - Tupac Shakur
52.)




Alam ko meron pa na hindi ko pa sinusulat. Pasensya na lang. :)

current music: Real People - Common

I wonder at times if people still read this. And I believe that ever since I lost a big chunk of my layout/template and sidebar, I am not able to read many, many of my friends' blogs.

If you believe you're one of them, kindly drop a message/comment for this entry, and tell me where I can read your stories.

Wala lang.

current music: A Certain Shade of Green - Incubus


These are weird days. I find myself sleeping earlier and earlier, and likewise find myself waking up earlier and earlier. Today, I found myself eyes wide by 4 AM. The day before, I was up by 3. In both instances, I was shivering from the cold, as there's been a series of rainy evenings here in Manila for weeks. I wonder if it's because of the sudden drop in temperature that prompts me to sleep, as cold-blooded lizards do when temperature falls.

I also find that writing is becoming, well, not easier, but less "painful" as it were. I cannot tell what has prompted this spell of ease. I just see that editing, revising, and coming up with ideas flows more fluently. I still have trouble starting works though. It's not perfect; I just know coming up with stuff's not as hard as it used to be.

For example, I had a daydream of sorts remembering my friend, Ramon. About two summers ago, he was stressed out about how his girlfriend was angry at him for forgetting the 1-month anniversary (or, how we call it in local tongue, "monthsary") of their falling in love. A sweet sentiment, to be sure, but he found only the taste of laundry detergent in his mouth as he talked that day. I understand how both sides are right; Ramon is right that there needn't be a single day that is "more special" if everyday can be sweet, and she's right in the subtle need of maintaining and re-kindling the romance in a relationship.

Are we, as people, relational beings that we are, so fear cold that we constantly strive for ways to keep fires from going out?

In my head, I transplanted the actual event of the discussion into a different place: a nice house where the persona of the event would be cooking dinner for everybody. Sort of like a "cheer up, you'll be okay" event that a gang of friends would do for each other.

I penned this down, and plotted it into an "idea file". This idea, I do not know what to do with it. I wonder if I should write it as a poem, or keep make it into fiction or drama. I do not know how to write fiction or drama, but there's a first time for everything.

I am aware anybody can pick this idea out of this blog. Nevertheless, I have nothing to fear. This is just one of many I've drafted into the "idea file".I think it'll be a while before I'll have to dig into this file to write things for my creative thesis.

I don't worry. There's a lot more coming up too. I am grateful that this creative streak is so prosperous for me

current music: Favorite Things - Incubus

Your Birthdate: January 6

A birthday on the 6th of the month adds a tone of responsibility, helpfulness, and understanding to your natural inclinations. Those born on the sixth are more apt to be open and honest with everyone, and more caring about family and friends, too. This is a number associated with responsibility and caring - this birthday lends a degree of concern for others.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

current music: Glass - Incubus

A Form Of Women
Robert Creeley

I have come far enough
from where I was not before
to have seen the things
looking in at me from through the open door

and have walked tonight
by myself
to see the moonlight
and see it as trees

and shapes more fearful
because I feared
what I did not know
but have wanted to know.

My facd is my own, I thought.
But you have seen it
turn into a thousand years.
I watched you cry.

I could not touch you.
I wanted very much to
touch you
but could not.

If it is dark
when this is given to you,
have care for its content
when the moon shines.

My face is my own.
My hands are my own.
My mouth is my own
but I am not.

Moon, moon,
whn you leave me alone
all the darkness is
an utter blackness,

a pit of fear,
a stench,
hands unreasonable
never to touch.

But I love you.
Do you love me.
What to say
when you see me.

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I find this poem unusually poignant, almost relevant even, to my life today. But I can't remember why.

current music: Are You Gonna Go My Way? - Lenny Kravitz

I know some of you will stone me for "stealing", but I downloaded (at long last! It's done!) Jeff Buckley's 1st album, "Grace".

I'll just say that the term "Last Night an Album Saved My Life" applies right here. :)

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On an aside, it *almost* angers me that something corrupted my PC's version of Nero StartSmart! It is now difficult to burn CD's. :s

I have not tried finding out if I can burn via RealPlayer. Will see. Hopefully, it can help me get this growing mass of Mp3 albums (Common's "Be", Jeff Buckley's "Grace", Alanis Morisette's "Jagged Little Pill", Chris Rock's "Never Scared", Coldplay's "A Rush of Blood to the Head", The White Stripes' "Get Behind Me Satan" among others) out of the hard drive and into useable formats.

Or I'll end up having to buy a fricking expensive iPod/mp3 player alternative to get them playing. Which would be ideal, really; jogging isn't as much fun w/o music.

current music: the news, on Studio 23

I have lost count on how many weeks I have gone jogging with Jihan, my blockmate. I think it has gone on for the entirety of the past month. She did ask me if I wanted to go jogging with her, and we set up this twice-a-week evening thing, all in the name of getting fit.

I'm still at a loss where she found out I was jogging in Ateneo on Sunday evenings. I do that at pain of loss of priviledges and a deteriorating hypertension that is bothering my body.

I knew I needed some form of motivation. I find that if I do engage in self-improvement, I like knowing I'm not self-improving for MY sake alone, and that I can help somebody else. Jihan mentioned a nagging diabetes history in her family, so I agreed, lest she start taking insulin shots.

It's been quite an interesting arrangement. I pick her up at her boarding house in Teacher's Village, go to Ateneo, and run an average of three (3) kilometers a round. Then I drop her home. We meet up two days hence. If it rains, we re-schedule, and keep at it.

It's fun. I can mentally re-live my "inner wannabe Patrick Vieira" as I rush past the football field.

We run. We walk. We jog. We talk. We discuss school events. We discuss weird anecdotes that we've heard passed around. We've discussed secrets, and my strange talent of getting to learn people's secrets. We talked about family, the block, possible plans for the future, and the occasional health tip or two for the newbie runner (which we both are).

Running is a boring exercise. Hence, having her around helps alleviate the boredom! After all, an iPod or a CD player can only go so far, depending on the music selection.

I also have found the arrangement to be a factor that has been drawing me closer to Jihan. I remember a time when she'd regard me with darting, suspicious glances from our Non-Fiction class (particularly at how I would be one of the class' harshest critics). Nowadays, she can ask me anything, however bluntly, and I can answer fully and honestly.

Heck, if there were some kind of impersonation going around a la Harry Potter's Polyjuice Potion, I'm in hot soup.

People say I'm losing weight. I just thank them. I'm not a good judge of personal development. I just do what I can.

Of course, if I start getting new breaks because of a spiffy new physique, I'll start owing Jihan a LOT. And I wonder if I can really repay.

I have a cold. I can hardly speak. Breathing in itself feels almost unnecessary.

I missed my theo seatmates today. :s wala akong ma-kwentuhan.

Na-cancel ang gimik naming manood ng Pinoy Blonde, because 4 out of 5 of us (including me, but to a lesser degree) have a cold / feel sick.

As a consequence, the frondant cake had to be given away to the Pubroom people. But it also means its intended audience wasn't present.

The blockmates will go watch tomorrow, when I can't be there because of class. :(

School is full of faces I remember, but do not remember me. :(

My inbox is loaded with 22 new e-mails that have nothing to do with me. :(

Sir Larry returned "Desire" all pock-marked with revisions I don't 100% agree with. Because it wouldn't suit the message all that well.

I miss my crush. Terribly so. :(

Heading home, I had to walk all the way to the car alone. In the rain. (which isn't so bad, but today it wasn't right...not today)

The internet isn't working right because of the BitTorrent my sister runs. If I pause it, it would only mean she'd have to run it over a span of more days. Which is a lose-lose situation to me.

My Dad tried to shirk out of his committment of fetching my brother. He even tried to guilt-trip me into doing it for him, even when he said he'd do it himself.

I'm not alone, but it feels unusually so.

Sagot nga tayong mga Meme habang may katuturan pa ang lahat.

1. Name a movie you saw recently and want to recommend to others:

- Batman Begins. Darn. Christian Bale gives me goosebumps.

2. Name a movie you expected to dislike, but were surprised to find you actually liked:

- Got 2 Believe (starring Rico Yan and Claudine Barretto). No kidding. I liked it! All the more when I consider its 'modest' ambitions.:p

3. Name a movie you expected to like, but were surprised to find you actually did NOT like:

- I don't like admitting it, but it'll have to be The Matrix Revolutions. sad, sad, sad.

4. Name an underappreciated and/or little-known movie that you'd like your friends list to watch:

- There's this teen movie called "100 Girls"... about the dork kid who fell in love with an unknown girl one dark evening, and then spends his entire college life looking for her. It showed up on JackTV or something once. Aliw siya, to be fair, and the script is smart.

5. Name a movie you consider highly overrated:

- Titanic. Tangina. So the lovers fell in love in a sinking ship. So what?

6. Name a movie that you know is crap but you enjoy anyway:

- The Game of Death, starring Bruce Lee. Yes, the unfinished movie. If only for Bruce Lee vs. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, happy na ako! :D

7. Name a movie that you dislike even though you recognize that it's well made/high quality:

- In the same spirit, I go with Titanic. A lot of good work. Although I honestly don't like it!

8. Name a movie you used to like, but no longer do, for some reason:

- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Probably because you can only go so far with that kind of story. :D

9. Name a miscast character, and also which actor you think should have played that role instead:

- I maintain that it'll always be Ben Affleck in Daredevil. Or anything Ben Affleck did during those years. shet.

10. Name a movie that still scares you, no matter how many times you see it

- Memento. No wonder I still love it.

11. Name a movie that still makes you cry, no matter how many times you see it

- erm... it'll probably be Good Will Hunting. Yeah. After 8 or so times, hindi pa siya nawalalan ng powers.

12. Name the movie that makes you laugh hardest and oftenest:

- National Lampoon's Van Wilder. Haha!!!

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

current music: LSS na ang "Speed of Sound" - Coldplay

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

current music: American Baby - Dave Matthews Band

There are seven cardinal sins. Some prefer gluttony, some avarice, and others wrath.

The one I struggle most these days is lust. I hate it. And I hate the person I fear I can become.

I worry. I wonder. I contemplate. Lust is something that cuts us off from others as it disguises itself as intimacy, or more accurately, the call for it.

I've often thought that maybe, just maybe, I was destined to be single. I always envisioned for myself a future of glory. In my daydreams, I would see myself and I felt like I stared into the heart of all opportunity. It's like I could own anything, achieve anything. In those daydreams, it was as though an oracle was telling me the future. And it said I couldn't fail.

(Incidentally, someone read my future and did tell me that. But I get ahead of myself.)

I could conjure some real whacked out imaginations. Others were darned cool. Some featured me driving a Ferrari. Others had me flying from city to city speaking before hundreds.

But in all scenes, one thing thing was common: I would do these things on my own. And I shan't share them with anyone.

Is it worth it? If you would never fail, but you'd be all alone?

current music: mmm... still Mata - Mojofly


it's raining. it's already 8:17 AM and it's almost as dark as if it were 8:17 PM. I love it. :)

Desire

The street-sweeper patrols the sidewalk
taking with his broom the many things
people let go of, left behind.

There's the dust that covered the floor
like a dark, rich, thick cloth
shed from the skin of so many.

There are cigarette butts,
wrapped balls of gum; he knows
they felt lips of those who ignore him.

He wonders of identity.
For example, the plastic cup
with pink lipstick on the edge

or the strands of hair,
the broken heel of shoes, and
the lost lens that touched someone's eyes.

Could she be pretty?
Could she be rich?
This I would love to see.

He collects what others sweep away;
it is an ever-unfinished jigsaw puzzle
of someone, somewhere.

He takes them in a broom, carries them in a pan.
Later he will leave them in that green bin
for safekeeping, for giving away, for letting go.


---------

dammit. ang hihirap ng mga assignment na 'to.

current music: Mata - Mojofly

Haay. I'm somewhat aggravated because:
1.) I was unable to go jogging this evening because my brother had to go to some spur-of-the-moment party. sheesh.
2.) I will not be able to drive myself home because of that same kid brother. and the refuses to say why. odds are, he may be selling drugs.
3.) I have absolutely no poem in mind for tomorrow (the one with the topic "Desire"). shit.
4.) I think I'm doing what I usually do when I like a girl: I sabotage myself. badly too. aw nuts.
5.) I'm broke. and my parents do not allow me to take on a part-time job, because it could affect my schooling. whatever.

I dunno. I'm not too happy.

I discover myself agreeing with Sir Tom:



"Tignan niyo ngang mga magaganda diya. Lumingon kayo."

We all turn to look at our classmates.

"Hanggang tingin lang tayo, no?"


hay naku. who knew it'd come down to this? :p