current music: Joss Stone's "Fell in Love with a Boy" is on MTV
remembering: The Alchemist, and it's many stories. I wish I bought "The Warrior of Light", the companion book, just for fun. ü

I might be going crazy. Still. I'm somewhat in the same boat I was some months ago. Slowly opening my mind to the things/people/possiblilities I shut for myself because I knew I'd be distracted from the tasks I must do. [Dammit Den, impluensya mo 'to! Pero oks lang, good influence ka kasi.:D]

Well... read Sylvia Plath. It's nice. I read it and I was thinking of something I know I can't call mine, but is important to me, perhaps to me alone.

Wala lang. I can relate.


Mad Girl's Love Song
Sylvia Plath

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"


===============

Ayoko nang ma-in love. Matagal na rin mula sa huling panahon nangyari iyon. Kaso... sa araw-araw kong pagsulat, sa kada-segundong nagdadasal ako't humihingi kay Jess ng tulong, sa bawat tugtog ng MYMP at Sinatra, at sa bawat kinig ko kina Paeng, Parel, James o Cy mangitara, at lalo na sa mga iniisip ko... Siguro nga... may minamahal nga ako uli. At di ko 'to gets dahil sinabi ko nang ayaw ko na. Tama nang ganito. Kailangan iba ang aking prioridad ngayon.

Siya ba ulet? Sana hindi na. Sawang-sawa na ako sa lahat na may kinalaman sa kanya, maging ang kanyang mukha, tawa, tinig ng boses, at higit sa lahat, mga ibang karibal kong ayaw ko nang alitan kasi masama talaga akong maging kaaway.

Haha. Bitter bigla si Raph. Wala lang kasing naibabalik ang oras na ginagasta ko sa pagiisip at paggunita dun.

Bahala na si Batman. Bahala ka na, Lord. Basta ikaw. Alam kong may binabalak kang astig para sa akin.